down

Why do I feel so down today?

Maybe because the sun hasn't come out in days. Or because it's so damn cold. Or because my waist doesn't appear to be shrinking, as planned.

Or because April ... and this summer ... seem ages away.

sick?

The back of my throat is beginning to feel itchy ... and my thoughts are drifting back to my ever-sick coworker, who came to speak with me on Monday but instead coughed oh me ...

I'm sure the stress isn't helping my germ-fighting capabilities. And I've done everything I can, really: I work out regularly now, I eat relatively well, I take my daily vitamin. But my sleep habits and stress level have much to be desired.

Sigh ...

stressed!

I worked my little buns of today. Worked, worked, worked!

I didn't get leave the office until 8 p.m. -- late! And I have to be there early tomorrow morning, close to 8 a.m. I'm so busy, and all I want to do is relax and not feel stressed. But I have a big project being published Sunday, and leaving on a trip in two weeks for another large project, so the stress just keeps mounting!

When it rain, it pours!

Of course, I should be lucky to have the oppotunity. It's a cut-throught industry, and the added projects means I'm doing something write. People above me believe in me.

But sometimes, all you want to do is relax!

I didn't get the chance to exercise today, which was frustrating. I worked too late. I was so hungry when I got home -- but thanks to the veggie lazagna in the freezer, I had a nice, well balanced meal. A salad, part of a sweet potato, broccoli and that yummy, 350-calorie tofu lazagna. That's what I call a win.

And I have to count the small successes where I can.

It's hard not to get down lately. Yes, I've been doing better eating and exercising. But my pants are still tight! And I still run oh so slowly.

And, well, it's cold outside. And it's dark all the time. And my guy is down on the border pulling guard duty instead of here with me, curled up next to a fire. And we have big things to worry about when he gets home in April -- the possibility of going to Iraq, how he's going to fix his house, etc. It's enough to make a girl crazy!

With all the stress in the world -- with work stress and personal stress and state-of-the-world stress -- how's a girl to manage?

intervals

I felt good today, although I didn't quite make my calorie goal. (That damn extra slice of cheese and the peanut butter! What can I say, I was craving comfort food).

But I did run. And I ran well. I ran for 30 minutes, and for 20 of those minutes I did 2:1 speed intervals: 2 minutes at a high speed and 1 minute recovery. All while on a .5 percent incline.

Pretty good!

I'm not really sore tonight. But the really amazing part? Those 30 minutes went by sooo fast.

A few weeks ago, running for 30 minutes dragged on and on. It felt like forever. But with this new interval workout, it wizzes by. I'm so focused on the two minutes of speed, and thankful for the 1 minute of recovery, that soon 20 minutes is done.

Which has made me decide to do intervals twice a week. On Tuesdays I will do speed, like today, and on Thursdays I will do hill intervals (a burst of incline coupled with a smaller burst of speed, and then a recovery period). And I'm going to try to stick with the 2:1 ratio.

And, based on everything I've read, this is a great training strategy. It makes you stronger and faster quicker, they say.

I'll be ready for that half-marathon yet!

bandwagons

While I jumped on the exercise bandwagon, I've fallen off the healthy eating bandwagon.

Tonight -- well, today, and probably yeterday too -- I realized that running 5 miles on Sunday is not an excuse to eat lots of food during the weekend and into Monday!

I remember getting done with the run, and after an hour or two I was so hungry! I had a nice lunch, but then I just kept right on eating. Snacks here, desert there.

Part of my half-marathon training will be training my mind to realize that exercise is not an excuse to eat. It does not justify eating lots more. And because I want to loose a few pounds, I should be maintaining my eating (and eating for health, to fuel my body) instead of gorging on fudge pops!

Oh, the lessons we learn.

But tomorrow is another day. Another day to eat well, run and feel good about myself.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping back on the bandwagon!

Ouch!

I popped an advil this morning, despite not having a throbbing headache. I was just that sore.

I ran five miles yesterday on a treadmill at the YMCA. I ran it in 57:45 minutes, a time that I'm happy with because it's under an hour. I've only run 5 miles one other time, last year. And while I was mentally and physically prepared this time around, my muscles took a beating.

And I have battle scars. Yes, that's right -- chaffing. Ouch! After mile 3 my inner thighs began to hurt. By mile 4 I was running with a weird, wider stride to try and prevent the inevitable. By the time I slowed down after passing mile 5, there were round, red bumps on both legs.

A few quick google searches and I see this is a common problem. Which makes sense, because I'm more the "curvy" runner than the "long and lean" runner.

But I'm confused by all the solutions offered: vasoline, special chaffing cream, wearing bike shorts.

Do I really need to carry a small thing of vasoline, to apply to my thighs when I run? And does the special chaffing cream really work? And wouldn't the bike shorts make me chafe, well, in other places?

And I thought running would be one of the simpler sports to take up!

fabulous

I just completed my last workout of the week (I'm on a Sunday-Saturday schedule, mostly because of how my calendar works out). And I feel good.

I can already see the definition in my lef muscles, and my arms are starting to feel it. I think adding the 40 minute bootcamp video to my weekly routine helps a lot. It's mostly squats, lunges, core and arm moves, and I can tell that targeting each major muscle group is helping.

I can't wait until the summer -- I'll look fabulous in a swim suit!

And I can tell that exercising is having an effect on my diet. I ate healthy but satisfying meals all week. And I even "treated" myself to a dinner out with coworkers last night. And, because of my health conciousness, I chose well and ate proper portions: One portion of a spinach and cheese appetizer, two slices bread, half a bown of soup, half a regular-size salad and half a smaller, amazingly wonderful chocolate desert.

I walked away feeling satisfied. Not too full and not wishing I had had more desert. Splitting it was the perfect amount!

It makes me feel like this is a lifestyle I can maintain. Moderate exercise that's working toward a personal goal (a half marathon!), yummy and healthy meals, and room for the occasional desert and dinner out! :-)

good job!

I felt good today.

I lost a pound (hopefully it stays off!) and my pants felt, well, normal again. I know that keeping my pants -- well, really my tummy -- that way has a lot more to do with my actions than with crossing my fingers.

But I can still cross my fingers, right?

It's been about two weeks since I've been eating well and exercising. And besides being down three, almost four, pounds, I've definately noticed some positive results:

EATING WELL:
+ I've been craving healthy food again: tofu smoothy, black beans, broccoli. Yes, broccoli!
+ I pretty much bypass the office stash of goodies.
+ I cooked and purchased healthy meals I can heat up in a flash, so I don't munch before dinner.
+ I've been aiming, and pretty well succeeding, at only eating during meals.
+ I've been writing what I eat down, looking (and sometimes measuring) portions and trying to count calories. I've been gaining a lot of insight about what I eat!

EXERCISING:
+ I have more energy at night! I don't come home and crash anymore.
+ I have exercised five times each week for the last two weeks, even if I didn't feel like it.
+ I ran four miles on Sunday! Woohoo!
+ My legs look leaner, as do my arms and tummy.
+ I've been sleeping better.

I've had a few short comings, but hell, we all do. Here are some of my goals:

EATING:
+ Plan ahead! Make healthy meals and plan before heading to restaurants.
+ Limit snacking.
+ Continue to watch portion control and calories.

EXERCISING:
+ Keep the momentum going!
+ Run five miles this weekend!

portions, calories

The more I write down what I eat -- and take the steps to find out what a portion is, and how much calories are in that portion -- do I realize my "standard" portions pack a lot more calories in than I thought! And even if it's healthy food, those add up.

For example, I made a rice tofu dish tonight. I take a extra-firm pack of tofu and stir-fried it. Normally I eat about half the tofu pack. I mean, hell, it's tofu, right? I've never actually looked at the label.

Well it turns out that there are FIVE portions in that pack -- not two! Which means I've been eating almost 300 calories when I eat half, not the 150 calories I thought I was. I don't even know where that 150 number came from. Honestly, I think I just made it up one day, thinking, how many calories can be in tofu anyway?

Now, I probably won't stop eating tons of tofu. I mean, talk about a healthy food packed with nutrients and protein, with little fat. But realizing how many calories was in it really opened my eyes.

And I looked at the black bean can label. Turns out a half-cup is about 100 calories. Not bad, but I think I've counted it as 50 calories before. And the whole-grain rice? A half-cup is almost 200 calories, not 100 like I've been writing down.

So add that up -- that's almost 400 calories that I have not factored into my diet. All healthy foods, all normal serving sizes -- but wow. That sure added up fast!

cheese, cheese

I'm just completing a full week -- which is really a week stretched through the middle of two weeks -- of healthy eating and exercising.

Thinking back, I feel good about what I've accomplished.

I've kept up my cardio schedule, even when I was sore or didn't think I could do it. I made adjustments, of course. But I did it.

I also have kept an accurate food log, with estimated calories. And I feel like I've cut back on a lot of the "extras" -- the cookies, the deserts, the unneeded snacks. And I'm gaining a lot of information about what I need to stay fueled.

But more importantly, what I don't need.

In looking over my calorie culprit, I was found the main thing that is boosting my calorie intake is cheese. Granted, it's part-skim mozzerela, which is probably one of the healthiest cheeses you can buy.

But the thing is, I can't just have an ounce. I eat a slice or two or three before the meal, and shred more to melt on the meal. I've known that cheese is something I tend to over indulge -- I can't even resist this "healthier" version. Some days I probably added 300 to 700 unneeded calories just from cheese!

Now, I did loose two pounds, from my highest weight I've been for almost a year: 132 lbs. Now I'm stradling somewhere between 129-130 lbs. My goal is to loose one to two pounds a week, so I hit my before-vacation weight of 125 lbs.

They key, I think, will be to keep up with the exercise. But also, just as important, to cut out or cut way back on cheese!

i did it

Yesterday I could barely do 20 minutes of cross training. My feet hurt on the eliptical (why is that?) and after 10 minutes, I switched to the bike. I pedalled, so amazingly slowly.

But the important part is I went. I did it. At least 20 minutes of it.

Today I ran 2 miles. I was strong, I even did a 10-minute mile pace for a while.

There will be up days and down days on this journey of health and exercise. That's all I need to remember.

intervals

Oh, the frustrations on New Years resolutions!

The gym was PACKED today. So packed that my regular spinning class was full when I arrived, and all the "good" treadmills (i.e. the fancy new ones) and all the eliptical machines were taken. Two years ago I would have let go of the idea of a hard workout and instead done an easy stationary bike one, maybe while reading a magazine.

But this is the new training-for-a-half-marathon me, so I was determined. Determined to work up a sweat and do some kind of intervals, which spinning usually covers.

So I hopped on an "old" treadmill (circa 1990, I swear) and began my routine. Five minutes of walking to warm up, 5 minutes of stretching on the mat, and then running.

Well, my determination paid off. Not only did a "good" treadmill open up almost immediatly, but running intervals was just as hard as spinning!

Sometimes life -- and exercise -- takes flexibility. :-)

still full from lunch

It amazed me, at about 11:30 a.m., that I was still quiet full from breakfast. And at 3 p.m. that I was still full from lunch.

Three weeks ago I would have been looking at the clock, waiting for the minutes until I could have lunch or a snack.

But not today, although I ate less than I would have three weeks ago. I had a sensibly sized breakfast of oatmeal and a banana, and a larger lunch (subway, chips, plus a homemade broccoli salad). Okay, not that large. But large enough to not have a snack today!

As the week progresses, I think I'm slowly "resetting" my stomach. Sure, there are moments where I'm famished, but they occur less and less. I'm also choosing healthier fare. Oatmeal instead of a bagel, a 300-calorie subway sandwich instead of a 600-calorie wrap from the local place.

In fact, I've realized I need about 1,100-1,200 calories to feel full until dinner time. Which is perfect, because then I can have a moderate sized meal. Like today, I had a chic-pea pattie wrap, grapes and a small sweet potato. All said it probably totals 800 calories -- bringing me, today, to a 1,800 calorie total. With plenty of room to have a 100-calorie desert bar yet tonight!

Now some diets in leading health magazines are focusing on a 1,500 calorie diet. Which, to any woman who does even a small amount of exercise, is unrealistic. You might be able to stay on it for a week or two, but then you'll fall off the wagon. Why? Because there's no wiggle room. No room for peanut butter or cheese or chocolate.

With my 1,800 calorie goal (2,000 on days I exercise at least 30 minutes), you can have those comfort foods -- in moderation. As long as portions are small, you eat mostly healthy fare and you exercise consistently, why deprive yourself?

You may think I'm on a diet, with all the calorie totals listed above, but I'm not. A diet is one that leaves you hungry. And on a diet, it's really only a matter of time before you fall off the wagon and gain more weight.

I'm just watching (and writing down) what I eat so I can reset my stomach -- I want to feel full after I ate a well-portioned meal, not a super-sized one. On my healthy eating and exercising plan, I can each chocolate without falling off the wagon.

And that's a plan I can live with.

my lunch tote

I feel pretty good about myself today.

My tummy is still bloated (and my pants are still tight), and my fingers are still a little swollen from last night. But I think they're going down.

Besides those lingering signs of indulgence, I did a lot of things to be proud of today. I bought new running shoes, shorts and socks. I bought healthy food at the grocery store. I ran 3 miles -- without stopping -- at the gym. Slower then I would like, but I can work on that. And I ate relatively healthy, and within my calorie limit, while still "splurging" on a personal-sized homemade pizza. And I prepped some healthy meals for the week, including a cold broccoli salad that looks awesome. And I ordered a "lunch tote" online.

A lunch tote? I guess that's the fancy term high-end stores use now for pack-your-own lunch bags. This one's a cute blue color from the container store. It should be big enough to fit a diet coke and various dishes for lunch, and stylish enough to remember to bring home to use for the next day!

I've had my eye on it for a while, and I finally -- after three months -- decided to buy it. Why? Because packing your lunch and snack is one of the easiest ways to eat healthy and within your calorie limit.

There's really no guessing if you pack your own lunch. No mysterious sauce, no surprise attacks of salt, no globs of cheese, no coating of oil. Just left overs of whatever you made last night.

Better for you. And I think it tastes better too!

salt

I was tired and hungry last night, and stopped at the grocery store around 7:30 p.m. to pick up dinner. Now usually I eat by 7 p.m., mostly because sticking to an eating schedule helps fend off getting too hungry and eating too much.

But last night I knew I wouldn't eat until 8 or 8:30 p.m., which made me very aware of the portion of my dinner. Could I handle making pasta and keeping left overs? Probably not. So I turned to something I normally don't eat -- frozen meals.

I was pleasantly surprised by Amy's frozen cheese enchiladas. I was craving melted cheese -- and it was so yummy! But at 350 calories, It didn't really fill me up. Even with salad and fruit. So I also ate a frozen corn dot (150 calories) and topped it off with two frozen fudge bars (100 calories). Overall, my daily intake was between 1,800-1,900. Not bad for having run two miles earlier that day.

I felt good about my "healthy" choice. I ate my calorie goal for the day while satisfying my cravings. But then, this morning, my fingers were swollen -- and I realized I ate more than 1,000 mg of sodium for dinner.

Now that's probably typical for most adults in America. But I eat mostly fresh and homemade food, I never add salt to a dish, and I actually steer clear of high-salt food. Domino's pizza? No thanks, I'll make my own. French fries? Maybe a few off a friend's plate, but I'll order fruit. Canned soup? Always low-sodium, but I prefer homemade.

Low salt intake has served me well. I passed my last blood pressure measurement with glowing colors: 100/60. And my distaste for salt has helped me steer clear of unhealthy fast-food, like delivery pizza and fries.

Which leads me to wonder, can I eat frozen foods without abandoning the benefits of my low-salt diet? With my hectic schedule, it was so nice popping the meal into the microwave and eating it 5 minutes later. But at what cost?

I think I'll keep some frozen meals in my fridge as healthy back-ups -- but I'll try not to eat them, like I did last night, with other high-sodium food.

eating + drinking

Well, I lost a pound this morning. Meaning I'm down two pounds since the beginning of January -- mostly water weight, but I feel good about it.

I've been eating healthy for the last few days, and I want to continue. And I've started exercising again. With D home for leave -- and between all the commitments we made to see family and friends -- there was simply little time to exercise (although I am proud that I got two workouts in the last week.)

And the food over the holidays? I really only endulged on the actual holidays, which I felt good about. And I quickly gave away all the tempting "gifts" people gave me this year. Bags of fudge, chex mix, cookies, sweet bread and chocolate all made its way to my office's conference room. Where it quickly (and thankfully) disappeared.

No, the five pound increase (now a three pound increase) was, I believe, due to the nights of drinking. I don't normally indulge, and if I do it's a glass or two every few months. But with D home, we went out almost every weekend night. And we drank on the holidays too.

So three to five drink a day/night, times two long weekends of drinking ... that's a lot of calories. Especially those sweet martini's I had last weekend. And the thing is, when you drink you eat. Chips, peanuts, pizza -- who cares when you're drunk?

Thinking back over this holiday, it was a good time. D was home (yay!), and we saw family and reconnected with long-lost friends. We laughed, stayed up late, drank and were happy. Until the next morning, when I had a headache and my pants were tight.

I probably wouldn't change the memories. But I would change how much I drank, although in all reality it wasn't that much compared to D or his brother. With only drinking occassionally, I'm still very much a lightweight.

But these past two weeks have been a reminder of why I actually enjoy not drinking. Sure, there's some social stigma to not having a glass -- or five -- when you're out with friends. But the thing is, I much more enjoy waking up refreshed in the morning.

And feeling thin and healthy each morning? Priceless.

healthy-er

It's my second day eating healthier, and yet today I feel surprisingly full.

Yesterday I logged about 2,100 calories. I also ran two miles, which puts me at about 1,900 calories. But I was hungry all day.

Which is a weird comparison to today. I logged about 1,700 calories, no exercise, but I feel so full! Oatmeal for breakfast, sushi for lunch, an apple and popcorn for snack, and a portion-controlled pasta dish (even with cheese!) for dinner. Oh, and did I mention chocolate?

But man, did I feel bloated all day! My tummy hurt, my pants were tight.

It's weird how I eat less but my stomach seems to grow. Yet I supposively lost a pound between the other day and today.

Weird.