I surprised myself by not only talking myself into running 2 miles yesterday but also getting up and going to spinning and staying another 40 minutes to do weights and core work. There was a cute guy there and I'm sure that's why I did a few more sit ups and the leg press. We left at the same time but I didn't remember to smile at him or say anything when we nearly ran into eachother going down the stairs. I probably should have taken my headphones off too, headphones never spark conversation. It's hard to remember how to put myself out there and after 2 years I feel like I'm learning to do it all over again and I worry that I'll not only be rejected but scaffed at, like 'what was she thinking she's so not in the same league as I am.' I'm a size larger than I was before but I'm also stronger and faster and slowly working my way back down to a six 6. Which, by the way, I'm not really sure how I maintained for a year because I never worked out. But if I never worked out, I would never accidently run into cute guys at the gym on the stairwell. Maybe he'll be there next week.
I'm sore now but all in all, the gym was good. And so was running last night, although my knees were a little sore. I basically fell asleep last night before I could go out, but I have two sets of plans today with coworker-type friends and that should be fun. And good for me.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
two miles
I ran two miles with two hill repeats. It felt pretty good and I surprised myself by running at (I think) a 10:30 pace and keeping my heartrate in the 170s.
And even though I didn't run during lunch -- seroiusly, will this crazy work week ever get less crazy? -- I did sneak it in before a work dinner. It's one thing to feel good about!
And even though I didn't run during lunch -- seroiusly, will this crazy work week ever get less crazy? -- I did sneak it in before a work dinner. It's one thing to feel good about!
yesterday
Yesterday was a relatively sane eating day, except for the cake after lunch. I'm hoping that it's one step closer to a sane eating week. I think I totaled in a reasonable range.
Yogurt and coffee: 250
Veggie enchillata meal, broccoli, soy nuts, cheese stick: 650
Cake, granola bar: 350
1/2 pb sandwich, tempeh bbq sandwich, grapes, 2 cheese sticks: 750
Total: 2000
Workout: Spinning, weights
Total: 1500?
Today I am running at lunch. I am going. Two miles. Up the hill. It'll be the only time to fit it in, as I have dinner plans at 6:30 after work. I may or may not squeeze yoga in. But I'm going for a run!
Yogurt and coffee: 250
Veggie enchillata meal, broccoli, soy nuts, cheese stick: 650
Cake, granola bar: 350
1/2 pb sandwich, tempeh bbq sandwich, grapes, 2 cheese sticks: 750
Total: 2000
Workout: Spinning, weights
Total: 1500?
Today I am running at lunch. I am going. Two miles. Up the hill. It'll be the only time to fit it in, as I have dinner plans at 6:30 after work. I may or may not squeeze yoga in. But I'm going for a run!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
the best
130.5 Pretty good for another crazy eating day. Breakfast and lunch were fine - but I went out for Mexican food with D and had some yummy chocolate-fudge-brownie-chip ice cream shortly after. (A small size, but still).
It felt good to talk to him. He's doing well and is really honing in on what he wants to do for a living, I'm really happy for him and I think he'll be successful. The unreliable streak is still there (he says he's going to go live in Mexico for six months after graduation ...) but I can tell he still cares.
I talked a lot about the type of work I want to focus on and whether or not to go to grad school. It's a big decision. I also talked about the pressure I feel to succeed, having grown up in the fashion and with the parents I did. I had a few tears because the thing is, I never feel good enough.
There's so many things I wish I was better at -- I wish I was more outgoing; smarter; more articulate; better looking; a smaller size; more naturally athletic. I looked around or remember friends growing up and it seems like all these things came so naturally to them, but everything seems like it's so challenging for me. I have to work twice as hard and it's awkward and I just wish it were easier. Sometimes I feel like there's so much pressure to be the best that I'm a failure before I even begin.
What D has always said, and what he said again, and what I need to start repeating to myself until I fully believe it, is that I'm pretty darn awesome as I am. In fact, I'm just the way I should be.
Why does it take an ex to remind me of that?
It felt good to talk to him. He's doing well and is really honing in on what he wants to do for a living, I'm really happy for him and I think he'll be successful. The unreliable streak is still there (he says he's going to go live in Mexico for six months after graduation ...) but I can tell he still cares.
I talked a lot about the type of work I want to focus on and whether or not to go to grad school. It's a big decision. I also talked about the pressure I feel to succeed, having grown up in the fashion and with the parents I did. I had a few tears because the thing is, I never feel good enough.
There's so many things I wish I was better at -- I wish I was more outgoing; smarter; more articulate; better looking; a smaller size; more naturally athletic. I looked around or remember friends growing up and it seems like all these things came so naturally to them, but everything seems like it's so challenging for me. I have to work twice as hard and it's awkward and I just wish it were easier. Sometimes I feel like there's so much pressure to be the best that I'm a failure before I even begin.
What D has always said, and what he said again, and what I need to start repeating to myself until I fully believe it, is that I'm pretty darn awesome as I am. In fact, I'm just the way I should be.
Why does it take an ex to remind me of that?
Monday, October 22, 2007
the same
I somehow managed to stay at 130 over this crazy and stressful and yes, food-crazy work weekend.
There were many times when I felt full while eating at a restaurant or take-out and I just kept eating. Call it comfort food. I was in a completely new place, in a new hotel, working on a new on-deadline project I had literally just learned about and had done no research on. Throw on top of that my co-worker and I have a strained relationship at best -- we haven't worked together or even really talked for more than a year. And the best way to describe our work styles is different. I need structure and a plan and a back-up plan, which is why the bosses paired me with her. She's a hurricane and very unpredictable.
I'm most thankful we had seperate rooms.
Maybe all the stress and intense focus burns more calories? Because I only worked out once between Friday and Sunday.
They gave me today off, so it's full of cleaning and laundry and organizing and running. Maybe some grocery shopping and cooking too.
There were many times when I felt full while eating at a restaurant or take-out and I just kept eating. Call it comfort food. I was in a completely new place, in a new hotel, working on a new on-deadline project I had literally just learned about and had done no research on. Throw on top of that my co-worker and I have a strained relationship at best -- we haven't worked together or even really talked for more than a year. And the best way to describe our work styles is different. I need structure and a plan and a back-up plan, which is why the bosses paired me with her. She's a hurricane and very unpredictable.
I'm most thankful we had seperate rooms.
Maybe all the stress and intense focus burns more calories? Because I only worked out once between Friday and Sunday.
They gave me today off, so it's full of cleaning and laundry and organizing and running. Maybe some grocery shopping and cooking too.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
four days ....
I cannot go this long without workout out again. Four days and spinning literally kicked my ass. And strength training was hard too. Four days and I'm already loosing what I've worked so hard to gain. If that's not motivation, besides the three guys that checked me out while walking from spin to the weight room, than I don't know what is.
I had a large veggie ques with guac today for lunch. Comfort food. I was with A and we're working on a huge project and we had some soul seaching to do together. She's the last to hear D and I broke up. She thinks she may break up with her man. I asked why she cut me out of her life a year ago. She didn't have a good explanation except that she didn't like what I had to say when she asked my opinion. Water under the bridge. Hopefully. It's either the second beginning of a friendship or I'm going to trust her and she's going to burn me bad. I know the old saying, fool me once ... but this is business, not personal. She has to work with me. And I'm documenting anything sketchy. Cross your fingers.
I'm coming to the somewhat hesitant conclusion that I'm going to need to stay here for the next 3-6 months. This large project is going to last until at least Christmas, but it may help set me apart from the other job candidates I'll be competing with. It's one of those projects where I'm either in or I'm out, and being chosen for being in means I'm one of the best here. I'm top two. And honestly, I'm not going to be able to leave without burning bridges. I'm going to need those bridges.
And lets face it, I want options when I leave. If it I give this project my all -- and spend time self teaching myself some computer stuff -- well, I should have options. And lots of support behind me. At least thats what I'm telling myself right now.
I had a large veggie ques with guac today for lunch. Comfort food. I was with A and we're working on a huge project and we had some soul seaching to do together. She's the last to hear D and I broke up. She thinks she may break up with her man. I asked why she cut me out of her life a year ago. She didn't have a good explanation except that she didn't like what I had to say when she asked my opinion. Water under the bridge. Hopefully. It's either the second beginning of a friendship or I'm going to trust her and she's going to burn me bad. I know the old saying, fool me once ... but this is business, not personal. She has to work with me. And I'm documenting anything sketchy. Cross your fingers.
I'm coming to the somewhat hesitant conclusion that I'm going to need to stay here for the next 3-6 months. This large project is going to last until at least Christmas, but it may help set me apart from the other job candidates I'll be competing with. It's one of those projects where I'm either in or I'm out, and being chosen for being in means I'm one of the best here. I'm top two. And honestly, I'm not going to be able to leave without burning bridges. I'm going to need those bridges.
And lets face it, I want options when I leave. If it I give this project my all -- and spend time self teaching myself some computer stuff -- well, I should have options. And lots of support behind me. At least thats what I'm telling myself right now.
back... down?
130.5. I don't understand how weight works sometimes, but I'll take it. A few more days and actually getting my butt out the door to work out might bring be back below 130.
It's been such a crazy, busy, stressful week. I'm so looking forward to the weekend and the chance to organize myself, cook some meals for the week, clean (yes, I said clean) and just generally get my shit in order.
I'm also going to need the weekend to do some major pep-talking for a tough conversation I want to have with my boss. Everyone I've talked to says I need to do it. So that's it. I just need to do it ... after the weekend.
But before the weekend, I'm going to try something new: Running on my lunch break. I really hate running on the treadmill, but it's now dark when I wake up and when I get home because I live in the crazy far north. And I don't like running when cars can't see me.
So the conclusion I've come to is to run at lunch. Get to work at 8, take lunch from 12-1:30 and stay until 5:30. It should be doable, especially since I'm only looking at doing this twice a week and, at least in the beginning, relegating myself to my neighborhood.
And, I might do some leg strength training after work on these nights. But we'll see. Slow and steady,
Today is spin and weights. Time to pack my gym bag.
It's been such a crazy, busy, stressful week. I'm so looking forward to the weekend and the chance to organize myself, cook some meals for the week, clean (yes, I said clean) and just generally get my shit in order.
I'm also going to need the weekend to do some major pep-talking for a tough conversation I want to have with my boss. Everyone I've talked to says I need to do it. So that's it. I just need to do it ... after the weekend.
But before the weekend, I'm going to try something new: Running on my lunch break. I really hate running on the treadmill, but it's now dark when I wake up and when I get home because I live in the crazy far north. And I don't like running when cars can't see me.
So the conclusion I've come to is to run at lunch. Get to work at 8, take lunch from 12-1:30 and stay until 5:30. It should be doable, especially since I'm only looking at doing this twice a week and, at least in the beginning, relegating myself to my neighborhood.
And, I might do some leg strength training after work on these nights. But we'll see. Slow and steady,
Today is spin and weights. Time to pack my gym bag.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
four days ....
I gained four pounds in four days.
Grrrr.
How is that even possible? It's so frustrating that it took that short of a time to put on that much weight. It took me four weeks to loose it, and it's back in four days? I slip and four days later I'm back where I started? Seriously!?!
I'm really hoping that it's water weight. And it is that time of the month. My fingers are crossed.
But I need to be honest with myself. I need to reassess the truth: I've been eating major comfort food and seminar carby food and cheesy food and lots of it. And since the 5k Saturday, I haven't really worked out. That's four days of sitting on my ass!
So tomorrow: Spinning and weights.
Friday: Running (2 miles + hill repeat x2) and power yoga.
Saturday: Spinning and weights.
Sunday: Long run.
That should get me back on track! Today's eating was already better than the last few days. Probably 1800 calories:
B: LF yogurt, granola, coffee with soy.
L: Half mock tuna wrap, califlower curry soup from the co-op.
Snack: Dark chocolate (3 pieces), banana.
D: Salad with LF ranch, pasta shells veggie meal, broccoli, LF yogurt with honey.
S: Dark chocolate (3 pieces).
Grrrr.
How is that even possible? It's so frustrating that it took that short of a time to put on that much weight. It took me four weeks to loose it, and it's back in four days? I slip and four days later I'm back where I started? Seriously!?!
I'm really hoping that it's water weight. And it is that time of the month. My fingers are crossed.
But I need to be honest with myself. I need to reassess the truth: I've been eating major comfort food and seminar carby food and cheesy food and lots of it. And since the 5k Saturday, I haven't really worked out. That's four days of sitting on my ass!
So tomorrow: Spinning and weights.
Friday: Running (2 miles + hill repeat x2) and power yoga.
Saturday: Spinning and weights.
Sunday: Long run.
That should get me back on track! Today's eating was already better than the last few days. Probably 1800 calories:
B: LF yogurt, granola, coffee with soy.
L: Half mock tuna wrap, califlower curry soup from the co-op.
Snack: Dark chocolate (3 pieces), banana.
D: Salad with LF ranch, pasta shells veggie meal, broccoli, LF yogurt with honey.
S: Dark chocolate (3 pieces).
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I am ...
I had a really good talk with my dad over dinner today that basically reinforced what I've known but had trouble acknowledging lately. I've felt very lost in the world and have decided to take the rest of the week and let myself settle and remind myself who I am:
I should follow my heart but listen to my gut. I should trust but question when things don't add up. I should follow my dreams and my interests and work hard and be enthusiastic about work. I should give and be grateful when I get in return. I should celebrate my successes and that of others. I should be proud but not brag. I should not wine, ever. I should believe in myself, look out for myself and be the best self I can be. I should never compromise my standards or beliefs. I should set expectations. I should not settle and I should not be afraid of waiting. I should do all of these things, most intuitively, because I have character. It's in my blood.
I should follow my heart but listen to my gut. I should trust but question when things don't add up. I should follow my dreams and my interests and work hard and be enthusiastic about work. I should give and be grateful when I get in return. I should celebrate my successes and that of others. I should be proud but not brag. I should not wine, ever. I should believe in myself, look out for myself and be the best self I can be. I should never compromise my standards or beliefs. I should set expectations. I should not settle and I should not be afraid of waiting. I should do all of these things, most intuitively, because I have character. It's in my blood.
worth it
I've been eating a lot of comfort food Sunday and Monday, and while I haven't weighed myself I know that I'm probably back up a pound or two! Which is frustrating because I just reached 129.5. All that work and I'm throwing it away because of my damn emotions and insecurities.
I know it has to do with the breakup and the uncertainty of my future. (Should I apply for another job? Will I ever find the right guy?) And then going to a conference where I was out of my element and surrounded by carby goodness. I feel fat and ugly and dumb and it's just ridiculous. Lets just say my usual strategies didn't work and I caved. A scone after breakfast, two cookies for snack, lets not even go into my cheese-induced dinner craziness. My tummy hurts this morning.
I have to remember that I am worth eating well and working out for. I am worth it and I need to remake that commitment today. And it's time to try a new strategy -- I'm buying mints and popping those each and every time today I want to eat a free goody. And I'm packing fruit.
It's only been two days and I can easily get back on track. I can do this. I am worth it.
I know it has to do with the breakup and the uncertainty of my future. (Should I apply for another job? Will I ever find the right guy?) And then going to a conference where I was out of my element and surrounded by carby goodness. I feel fat and ugly and dumb and it's just ridiculous. Lets just say my usual strategies didn't work and I caved. A scone after breakfast, two cookies for snack, lets not even go into my cheese-induced dinner craziness. My tummy hurts this morning.
I have to remember that I am worth eating well and working out for. I am worth it and I need to remake that commitment today. And it's time to try a new strategy -- I'm buying mints and popping those each and every time today I want to eat a free goody. And I'm packing fruit.
It's only been two days and I can easily get back on track. I can do this. I am worth it.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
one more down
I clocked in at 129.5 this morning, which surprised me but upon further review makes sense. Yes, I had a cheesy-filled dinner and a hearty lunch yesterday. But I also ran a KICK-ASS 5k and have been eating relatively sane for the last few days. I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to weigh in.
I wonder how much of that one pound weighloss (down 2.5 pounds so far!) has to do with stress? The stress of having to make some tough decisions and innitiating some tough conversations with the people I care about deeply.
The conversations scare me and kept me from falling asleep last night. I'm not very good with these things, standing up to family or explaining my concerns or asking for advice or the dreaded asking for help from my now-employer to either find a job or get into grad school. Even though I know he's helped others, and have said so to me.
Just remember: One day at a time. One day.
I wonder how much of that one pound weighloss (down 2.5 pounds so far!) has to do with stress? The stress of having to make some tough decisions and innitiating some tough conversations with the people I care about deeply.
The conversations scare me and kept me from falling asleep last night. I'm not very good with these things, standing up to family or explaining my concerns or asking for advice or the dreaded asking for help from my now-employer to either find a job or get into grad school. Even though I know he's helped others, and have said so to me.
Just remember: One day at a time. One day.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
woohooo pr
What an amazing morning. Mom was up from Arizona this week and we ran a 5K and both of us set personal records! I ran it in 31:04, exactly a 10 minute mile pace. Exactly. Which I am so excited about! We talked a lot about our next 5ks and the half marathon this spring. I helped her map out a training plan. I just love thinking about running. I love getting better at it even more. What an awesome and democratic sport.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
taking chances
I think I'm back down to 130.5, although it's hard to tell. My scale isn't exactly the easiest to read -- but I have to remember I bought it that way. I don't want to obsess over the decimal when I'm maintaining.
I went to spin today but failed to do arm strength because my gym buddy is moving away! I've only known her a few months but it was nice having a friendly face at the gym and a non-work friend to hang out with occasionally. We went out for burritos after class and talked about life and moving forward and taking chances. I'm very excited about her new job! And it has me thinking about my job search.
I haven't been taking any risks and I haven't applied to companies that know my work. Which sounds silly, but I'm almost scared of scoring an interview and landing a job because, well, everything. would. change.
I'm going to think about this for a few days. I need to find a way around my hesitation.
I went to spin today but failed to do arm strength because my gym buddy is moving away! I've only known her a few months but it was nice having a friendly face at the gym and a non-work friend to hang out with occasionally. We went out for burritos after class and talked about life and moving forward and taking chances. I'm very excited about her new job! And it has me thinking about my job search.
I haven't been taking any risks and I haven't applied to companies that know my work. Which sounds silly, but I'm almost scared of scoring an interview and landing a job because, well, everything. would. change.
I'm going to think about this for a few days. I need to find a way around my hesitation.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
back up
I'm back up at 131. This is somewhat expected, and I'm glad I didn't go higher, given the food I ate over the weekend and the two pb&js I had yesterday for dinner. Yes, two. I was seeking comfort food for a very legit reason!
It's time to get back on track, though.
I bought some microwavable dinners for this week, I'm just not feeling up to cooking a lot. There's so much to do and fit in. Thursday I go talk to the masters program people and Friday night mom's coming up so we can run Saturday's 5k. I'll be sad when she flies back south.
Here's my plan this week:
Tonight is spinning and strength training.
Tomorrow is a hardish 2 mile run.
Thursday is either the eliptical or an easyish 2 mile run.
Friday is rest.
Saturday is the 5k.
It's time to get back on track, though.
I bought some microwavable dinners for this week, I'm just not feeling up to cooking a lot. There's so much to do and fit in. Thursday I go talk to the masters program people and Friday night mom's coming up so we can run Saturday's 5k. I'll be sad when she flies back south.
Here's my plan this week:
Tonight is spinning and strength training.
Tomorrow is a hardish 2 mile run.
Thursday is either the eliptical or an easyish 2 mile run.
Friday is rest.
Saturday is the 5k.
Monday, October 08, 2007
I broke up with D today. Again. He asked if this was working and I said no, it's not. It was probably the third or fourth time he's asked me that since we got back together. For some reason this is all via text message and phone -- every time we talk like this in person neither of us can let go. It's time to let go, though. In my heart I know it's time.
For some reason, I feel releaved. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to work so hard at us anymore, and feel like the only one that's fighting. I know he's fighting, but it feels half hearted. I don't feel like I'm a priority, or even make the top five. I understood more when he was preparing or on his deployment. But now -- well, now I feel it's a choice and each time he changes plans it hurts. I feel like I can't count on him anymore.
I can't be there to support him anymore. It's making me miserable because he's not there to support me.
And it's time I start looking out for me.
For some reason, I feel releaved. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to work so hard at us anymore, and feel like the only one that's fighting. I know he's fighting, but it feels half hearted. I don't feel like I'm a priority, or even make the top five. I understood more when he was preparing or on his deployment. But now -- well, now I feel it's a choice and each time he changes plans it hurts. I feel like I can't count on him anymore.
I can't be there to support him anymore. It's making me miserable because he's not there to support me.
And it's time I start looking out for me.
Friday, October 05, 2007
I am a runner (not a jogger)
(My own version of Runner's World penguin column. I may not be fast, I may actually be relatively slow, but I am still a runner.)
I am a runner because I train and I improve, although gradually. I have a plan, a calendar and a log.
I am a runner because everything else I do -- spin, swim, eliptical, yoga, weight lifting, core work -- is cross training. And nothing else is quite as satisfying.
I am a runner because I race. Not to win, but against myself. I sign up and get a bib number and I run to beat my own time, to PR. (And to get the t-shirt)
I am a runner because I am no wimp. I run in all kinds of crazy north-midwestern weather. Rain, snow, hail. When it reached -30 below windchill and my car wouldn't start, I braved frostbite to get to the apartment gym and get on a treadmill.
I am a runner because I have gear. And gu. And shoes. And retired running shoes.
I am a runner because I think about my food, well some of my food, as fuel.
I am a runner because I have tested and broken my limit. I have been sidelined by injury. I have hurt my feet, my IT band, felt soreness is shins and hamstrings. I am learning to embrace those limits and listen to them.
I am a runner because I can't help but talk about running to friends, family and coworkers. And I sometimes talk other people into running or training with me.
I am a runner because I have never feel quite as alive as I do on the trail, running through the woods, crunching fallen leaves, listening to the rush of the river and the rythem of my breath.
I am a runner because I can be. I want to be.
I am a runner because I train and I improve, although gradually. I have a plan, a calendar and a log.
I am a runner because everything else I do -- spin, swim, eliptical, yoga, weight lifting, core work -- is cross training. And nothing else is quite as satisfying.
I am a runner because I race. Not to win, but against myself. I sign up and get a bib number and I run to beat my own time, to PR. (And to get the t-shirt)
I am a runner because I am no wimp. I run in all kinds of crazy north-midwestern weather. Rain, snow, hail. When it reached -30 below windchill and my car wouldn't start, I braved frostbite to get to the apartment gym and get on a treadmill.
I am a runner because I have gear. And gu. And shoes. And retired running shoes.
I am a runner because I think about my food, well some of my food, as fuel.
I am a runner because I have tested and broken my limit. I have been sidelined by injury. I have hurt my feet, my IT band, felt soreness is shins and hamstrings. I am learning to embrace those limits and listen to them.
I am a runner because I can't help but talk about running to friends, family and coworkers. And I sometimes talk other people into running or training with me.
I am a runner because I have never feel quite as alive as I do on the trail, running through the woods, crunching fallen leaves, listening to the rush of the river and the rythem of my breath.
I am a runner because I can be. I want to be.
the weekend
Well, the day after tomorrow test worked. I'm still holding at 130.5. I've been eating very sensible, home cooked meals that are well balanced. Even my take-out yesterday at lunch was healthy -- I orded sushi. Thats it's, just sushi.
This weekend will be a challenge to maintain that, though. I've been invited out to dinner with D's family on Friday, dinner with my family on Saturday, drinks with my brothers on Saturday night and brunch on Sunday. Everything that I have going on, minus spin on Saturday morning and a long(ish) run on Sunday, has to do with food!
But, I am so excited to see family. So hopefully I can concentrate on the relationships instead of what's on my dinner plate. I'll have to think of a better strategy than that, of course.
This weekend will be a challenge to maintain that, though. I've been invited out to dinner with D's family on Friday, dinner with my family on Saturday, drinks with my brothers on Saturday night and brunch on Sunday. Everything that I have going on, minus spin on Saturday morning and a long(ish) run on Sunday, has to do with food!
But, I am so excited to see family. So hopefully I can concentrate on the relationships instead of what's on my dinner plate. I'll have to think of a better strategy than that, of course.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
knock on wood
I lost a pound (130.5 and crossing my fingers) today and was on goal with diet and exercise. This whole write everything down and eat less seems to be working since I've lost 1.5 pounds so far. The sheer simplicity astonishes me. But the true test will come the day after tomorrow. If this is a maintainable approach. If I keep the weight off or even loose a little more.
My shins feel kind of tight right now, which is odd because I never have problems with my shins. I did 30 minutes eliptical and my core and arm workout. I debated in my head if I should go run, since it was a beeeautiful fall evening but I knew, deep down, that I cannot run and weight train on the same day. It's just that I cannot get my butt to the gym after I've been let free on the wooded trails. The gym is just too confining!
Work was blah. I've overwhelmed in the I'm-pretty-sure-no-I'm-nearly-certain-that-I-don't-want-to-be-here kind of way. There's all this work and small projects and large projects and online projects and pressure, oh the pressure! It wouldn't be quite so much pressure if someone had their act together earlier, but no. That wouldn't be right.
It's not that I can't do it. I can. I've proven I can. I've won awards, including the mvp award last year. I just don't think I want to anymore -- in the not-wanting-to sense that it's hard to completely give something up after dreaming of it since the ripe age of 13.
On another completely random note, this month's Runners World has my all-time favorite penguin column. It's a list about why he, a non-faster runner, the premier waddler, is in fact a runner. Tune in later because my list of why I'm a runner, not a jogger, is coming soon.
My shins feel kind of tight right now, which is odd because I never have problems with my shins. I did 30 minutes eliptical and my core and arm workout. I debated in my head if I should go run, since it was a beeeautiful fall evening but I knew, deep down, that I cannot run and weight train on the same day. It's just that I cannot get my butt to the gym after I've been let free on the wooded trails. The gym is just too confining!
Work was blah. I've overwhelmed in the I'm-pretty-sure-no-I'm-nearly-certain-that-I-don't-want-to-be-here kind of way. There's all this work and small projects and large projects and online projects and pressure, oh the pressure! It wouldn't be quite so much pressure if someone had their act together earlier, but no. That wouldn't be right.
It's not that I can't do it. I can. I've proven I can. I've won awards, including the mvp award last year. I just don't think I want to anymore -- in the not-wanting-to sense that it's hard to completely give something up after dreaming of it since the ripe age of 13.
On another completely random note, this month's Runners World has my all-time favorite penguin column. It's a list about why he, a non-faster runner, the premier waddler, is in fact a runner. Tune in later because my list of why I'm a runner, not a jogger, is coming soon.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
the one mile race
Woosh!
I won SECOND place! The number two female runner!
Not only did I make my reasonable goal of sub-10, but I ran a sub-9 minute mile. I finished in 8:59.
And I have a $25 gift certificate and a metal to show for it.
(So what if there were only two female runners? For the first time, ever, I PLACED!)
Oh, and I didn't come in last. Because my boss, the crazy marathon runner that organized this whole thing? He ran with me and made sure I wasn't last. :-)
I won SECOND place! The number two female runner!
Not only did I make my reasonable goal of sub-10, but I ran a sub-9 minute mile. I finished in 8:59.
And I have a $25 gift certificate and a metal to show for it.
(So what if there were only two female runners? For the first time, ever, I PLACED!)
Oh, and I didn't come in last. Because my boss, the crazy marathon runner that organized this whole thing? He ran with me and made sure I wasn't last. :-)
Monday, October 01, 2007
one mile
I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's one mile race. Yes, it's only a mile. Yes, I can finish. But the pre-race butterflies are here.
I set a very reasonable goal of a sub-10 minute mile. It's still a push since I've been running 11 minute and 12 minute miles. I would like sub-9 and would really, really like sub-8. With my knees acting up and my feet still recoving, through, sub-10 is a good goal. It's a nice, healthy, reasonable, how-can-I-fail goal that is also an injury-free goal.
I like goals like that! So why am I nervous? Here's the catch. The catch I failed to think about, or factor in, or even acknowledge until today.
It's a work function. My boss is a crazy marathoner and he put this one mile run together to race money for the United Way. He's coached me through the half marathon last spring and the injury this summer. So when he asked, how could I say no?
So here's the big question (oh, the irony is killing me!)
What do I wear?
Should I show up in my normal running gear, my teeny-tiny running shorts and tank top? In front of people who will determine my next raise? And some of the public officials (ahem mayors) I have to deal with each day?
Am I crazy?
I set a very reasonable goal of a sub-10 minute mile. It's still a push since I've been running 11 minute and 12 minute miles. I would like sub-9 and would really, really like sub-8. With my knees acting up and my feet still recoving, through, sub-10 is a good goal. It's a nice, healthy, reasonable, how-can-I-fail goal that is also an injury-free goal.
I like goals like that! So why am I nervous? Here's the catch. The catch I failed to think about, or factor in, or even acknowledge until today.
It's a work function. My boss is a crazy marathoner and he put this one mile run together to race money for the United Way. He's coached me through the half marathon last spring and the injury this summer. So when he asked, how could I say no?
So here's the big question (oh, the irony is killing me!)
What do I wear?
Should I show up in my normal running gear, my teeny-tiny running shorts and tank top? In front of people who will determine my next raise? And some of the public officials (ahem mayors) I have to deal with each day?
Am I crazy?
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