I weighed in at 132 today... so frustrating... I was just 129 a week ago...

And then a realized, for the last week, I've been on a cheese binge. Seriously.

It stops today.

I told T, the long-lost guy I met in college on a plane who recently resurfaced, that I didn't want to do whatever we're doing. Not that we're doing anything, since he lives on the west coast and I'm in the middle of the country. But that the past -- where he came and went from my life, where he had this unrealistic view of my Midwesterness, where he never actually pursued me when he had the chance -- had lead me to decide we don't have a future.

The thing is, he was always straddling the fence with me. And the past was repeating itself. He wanted to be a friend, but he never stayed in my life long enough to become a friend. He wanted to talk on the phone, but he didn't return calls. His actions didn't match what he was saying.

I don't need that. I don't want to be a place holder between girlfriends. I deserve better.

So right now, in this moment in my life, I'm taking a stand. I told him we don't have a future.

And that clears the path for me to find someone to have a future with.

I had an interesting thought last night. It might be just enough to push be out of the 130+ category and maybe even back down to 125, when I was before the breaking up began.

It's important for me to love and respect and care for my body, so somebody can fully love, care for and respect me.

I did the eliptcal for 30 minutes today.

It was quite an accomplishment...

After two weeks of not really working out at all ... well, it's hard to get momentum back up. Especially when it's so amazingly cold!!!!!

The woman at the soup shop asked me today if I was the one that always comes in with my boyfriend.

Seriously, I have to tell the woman at the soup shop that we broke up? Nearly four months later?

What the #$#!@?