can't run..

I miss running.

I miss the release of energy, the calmness of listening to my breath, my pace, my heart beat. Of conquering a trail. Of bounding up a hill and feeling the pride of accomplishment.

I miss how strong I feel when I run. How in shape, in control. Sexy.

But no. I hurt my feet. I have been not-officially diagnosed with plantar fasciitis by my podiatrist aunt. I have an appointment to see my official podiatrist in a month. And my regular doctor suggested not running at al between now and then.

Not at all!

Which makes me sad. I miss running. I miss how effortless it was to get out the door -- throw on some gaer and you can run anywhere. No bike to worry about, no rollerblades, no swim suit or pool. Just lace up those shoes and go.

So here is my plan:
* Ice and stretch my feet once a day.
* Wear the supportive sandals I bought.
* Strength train 3 x week.
* Cardio (bike, swim, eliptical, rollerblade) 3-4 x week for at least 30 minutes.
* Eat healthy, reasonable portions.

Hopefully by the end of this month I will feel good and be able to start running again!

a cursed buritto

Back up to 129 .... wtf?

Does a lunch buritto (no cheese, no sour cream even!) really add 2 pounds?

And is that buritto why my stomach was bloated and in pain?

a confession...

Okay, I checked the scale this morning.

129.

Not bad, 2 pounds down from the 131 I had at this month's beginning. Higher than I was hoping though. Although I knew it was coming -- Some days I feel like I've been eating everything in the house and then some.

What the hell?

So today I'm starting over. No more cookies from the break room or chocolate from the coin machines (even though it's for a good cause and a quarter buys you only a handful). No more carb-loaded meals.

Instead: more veggies, more fruit, more protein, more yogurt, more tea and more water. Much, much more water.

The problem this week is that I've been eating so much that I don't feel like exercising -- although luckily I did make it out the door quite a few times last week.

Sunday - Sunday brought 5 workouts and 10 miles of running (2,2,2,4). At the 4 mile mark the bottom of my foot hurt. But after icing and stretching that's gone now, so I plan on running again tomorrow.

I'm not counting the hour "kayaking" lesson D gave me Sunday, although I woke up so sore and tired. It was fun and I can definately see the appeal of the sport -- I just wish I was better at it so I wouldn't get so scared on a "roll!"

tummy = mad

I don't think this month-without-the-scale is working so well.

I was doing fine yesterday until dinner ... and D convinced me to go eat pizza, and I ate half the medium pizza, and full-fat ranch dressing, and that oil-soaked breakstick.

Ugh.

My tummy is mad!

But today's another day. I just ate a healthy breakfast of non-fat yogurt, a banana and some nuts. I'm thinking of running at the quarries in an hour or so, since I don't have to go in to work until this afternoon. Lunch can be ONE (not two like yesterday) pita hummus sandwich and I might do sushi or something for dinner.

I'm having trouble getting motivated to run, though ...

Day 3

Well, Day 3 is going better.

I had an omelette and toast (although fried in butter ... no low-fat pam or oil at D's house) for breakfast, subway with half a bag of chips and half a bag of apples for lunch, half a brownie for snack, some munchies before dinner and two slices of homemade pizza and grapes for dinner.

And I ran 2 miles in about 21:30. I wore the inserts, and they felt weird the whole time. Very unnatural. Not sure if I will run with them again.

day 2

Day 2 of the month-without-the-scale challenge.

While I'm not checking my weight, I'm checking my caloric intake pretty regularly. Yesterday was about a 2,000 calorie day -- pretty good, actually, considering I ate lunch and dinner out. It also helps that I did my bike-swim-bike hour routine yesterday. Today I'm tired but not sore! Yay!

I'm a little nervous about not checking the scale for a month. What if I gain weight? How will I know that I'm not on track?

But the thing is ... deep down I do know if I'm on and off track. I can tell by how full my tummy is or how much I exercise or how well my clothes fit.

This month is about trusting myself to eat healthy and exercise. It's about approaching my body in a healthy way.

a month without the scale ...

Well, I did it.

I took all my measurements this morning and my weight and wrote it down ... and put the scale away.

One month. One month without the scale, without measurements, did I mention no scale?

Weighing myself daily has become a habit. But it hasn't affected my weight loss -- my weight this morning was actually as high as my last vacation -- 131. This is bad, but at the same time good -- hopefully in a month I'll quickly loose that weight!

The other trick, of course, is actually eating well. I got the exercise thing down (I'm thinking of another bike commute to the gym tonight ...) But it's the nachos and cereal before dinner and ice cream and cookies and all those damn dilly bars that add up.

I'm going to start writing what I eat down again.

So thus begins my month of healthy eating minus the scale!