i believe

Well, it's official official. D and I are parting ways.

We had a long talk -- again -- last night, with many tears, and while there was a brief moment of hope when we talked about getting back together I knew, deep down, that it was not to last. I knew that if we were to get together, we would be re-evaluating it in three to six months. Which is so hard to admit.

I feel like we love eachother very much and that we could make a great couple. But we need different things right now. The timing of our lives are so far out of wack that there's no way to meet in the middle.

He needs to regain control of his life - deal with the foreclosure, drinking, military, family bullshit and all the other baggage -- and as much as I want to I cannot be there to hold his hand. Because I need someone who will be there for me as I decide what I want to do in life. I need someone who can meet in the middle and make a commitment and make a decision to be with me.

But he is so wrapped up in regaining control in his life that he cannot spare the support that I need.

And so, we're letting eachother go.

I believe that we both hope that eventually, we'll come back together once the timing and life is better for it. I think we both believe that our story together is not quite done.

But I also cannot base my life on a belief that may or may not be true.

And so, I need to let him -- and all the dreams I had for us together -- go.

I need to let him go. For me.