life

Well my work friend A came over yesterday and we made pizza and drank beer (I know! I had two and a half ... but it was worth it) and watched sex in the city and had a good time. It made me happy and wishing I have fostered more friendships in the almost three years I've been here. I'll remember that for the next move.

Anyway, I didn't run or really exercise at all yesterday but I did clean my apartment, which feels nice and airy right now. Laundry and some more cleaning/organizing are on my list for today as well before D comes over and I say my final goodbye to him.

I'm going to ask him to stop calling and texting me, at least until I can move past him. I don't want to end up being his "cusion" until he decides to date some other girl. That would be heart break all over again.

In this breakup I'm realizing I need to concentrate on what I need and I want. This has been, in a sense, a military relationship in the fact that I have been the supporter and he has needed the support. Now, I need to support myself. What do I need or what? What goals do I want to accomplish?

One is being healthy, which I have started doing more of (although the pizza and ice cream and beer on weekends are thrownig me off my game. I'll need to get on that) since we broke up.

One is fostering healthy friendships, something that I have had two blows on but am working one. I've realized that most my high school friends are the unhealthy type -- the obsess over weight and boys type -- which I have slowly cut out of my life. The other is that I have been so supportive of D that I haven't fostered my own girl friendships with those that like talking about things other that guys! I did meet C though, so I feel good about that.

One is being the type of girl that doesn't obsess over things, from work worries to guys to my thighs. I get border-line sometimes.

One is being outdoorsy, which I need to get over doing by myself. I think that's why I love running vs. walking, because it's normal to go running alone vs. walking alone.

One is being organized, semi-planned out, which D hated and was the complete oposite of.

One is figuring out what I want to do career-wise and where I want to live (somewhere outdoorsy!)

And the main one -- is realizing and accepting all of these positive changes will take time. It may take a few months and it may take a few years.

And that's okay.