healthy-er

I realized today that I need some time to heal. I've been pushing myself and I'm just not quite ready or sure of my footing. I exchanged items again with D today and it was a horrible, miserable, no-good, very bad lunch. Seriously. I had tears welling about half the time.

I need to heal. I've been looking at datings sites but the thing is -- as much as I want to find love and happiness and settle down and start a family, as much as I want all that plus the picket white fence -- I'm just not ready. I need to be happy on my own so I don't make the same mistake of trying to find happiness in a guy. It took me two years to figure that out and you better believe I'm going to head it. So no dating until at least January. At least.

I have a lot of other mending to do. I want to lose weight. I want to get stronger and faster. I want to finish writing my children's book. I want to encourage and create friendships. I want to get back into art and music. I want to further embrace nature. I need to get back my footing -- and make sure I'm on solid ground -- before I should even think about dating. I don't have good judgement right now.