This is hard to admit, but it needs to be said. And it needs to be said publically.

The last month, especially the last week, has made the conditions perfect for anxiety eating. And blowing off working out.

I'm leaving this afternoon for a three-day trip to the west coast for a potential job interview. I am excited, nervous, hopeful, doubtful, and all-and-all anxious. I've been telling myself that it's okay to eat the full buritto, or order the cheesy enchilladas, or have that cookie in the breakroom. I've been eating most of my meals out because 1. I'm worried I'll eat everything in the fridge if I bring food home and 2. because I keep telling myself that I need to clear my fridge out for my trip. My short, short trip.

I have been choosing pretty healthy, minus the Mexican food indulgences. Sushi and subway mostly. But still. I need to get my act together. Even though I somehow still fit into my interview suit.

I'm also been blowing off workout out. Yes, my foot injuries are not all that great, although they're improving. Yes, I need to get the doctor to readjust my shoe inserts. Yes, I had trouble the last time I went to spin. But come on. I'm self-sabotaging, and I need to come out and say why:

I'm scared. I'm scared (and excited) that I might get my wish -- that I might be starting over at a new job, in a new state, many, many miles and mountains away. I'm scared I'll take the job and wont like it, that I won't make friends, that I won't find a good place to live, that I'll miss my family, that all-and-all I'll decide 8 months from now that I made a horrible, horrible decision.

And so I've been turning to food and tv for comfort. Food to calm me down and tv to drown out the nagging worries in my mind, that nagging worries that I can't trust my gut when I visit to make the right decision. Even though, with everything I've learned about this place over the last month, that 95 percent of me is saying yes. This is it. This is the life you want to live and the kind of style and culture and community you are seeking.

So there it is. I don't transition well to new places and I don't make friends easily and I'm scared.

I am getting better at it each time I move, though. I've learned from my mistakes and I need to trust myself to make the right decision. That if I do choose to move there, it will take six months to adjust and that's okay. And if it turns out to be the wrong decision, I move to another job. I've known people in my career who've stayed at a job less than a year -- hell, I stayed at my first job for only 10 months! I need to know that no matter what happens, I'll be okay.

And that no matter what, it's better to face these worries head on, instead of turning to food for comfort.