let down

I'm having kind of a work project let down. More than a month straight of work and there hasn't been any feedback. There's still the hope that today I may hear something back. And I suppose no news is good news, but still. There's usually something and the quiet is, well, bothering me.

I'm also having the same let down with my scale. I've been running and eating reasonably, but the number hasn't budged. Again, no news is good news. It could be (heaven forbid) going up instead of going no where.

But I thought that if I ran, you know, FAR that I would be thinner. That it would just naturally happen, I wouldn't have to stress about my calories per day. That my clothes would fit better. I would be an athletic thin but thin none-the-less.

And with SPRING almost HERE, and D almost HOME, well I want to be 125. I want to look cute and thin and athletic and looking amazing in my cute spring and summer clothes.

Sigh.

I look over my food journal and I realize that I'm really not eating that much. Most days I clock in around 2,000 calories, which should be about right for a person of my size running 15-20 miles a week. But obviously that hasn't been working for the last month, so I'll limit it down to about 1,800 calories.

Here's my weekly schedule:
Monday: Rest.
Tuesday: Run 3-3.5 miles, 8 mins. abs.
Wednesday: 30 min. swim.
Thursday: Run 2-3 miles, 8 mins. abs.
Friday: 30 mins swim.
Saturday: Run 2 miles, 8 mins. abs.
Sunday: Run 5 miles.

Totals: 12-15 miles; 24 mins ab work; 60 mins swimming.