the half marathon.

Ahh, my first half marathon.

Despite all the worries pre-race -- me knees hurt, my big toes hurt, I never ran more than 11 miles training (or ever) -- I did it. I did it and I'm so amazingly proud of myself.

The race itself started off slow, I ran the first two miles at a 12 mile pace with mom. I did this on purpose -- I wanted to make sure to pace myself. And I wanted to run with her because the next 10 miles were on my own.

Running with the pack was fun, and I enjoyed it through the first half. I finally got the hang of drinking at water stations and I kept a good pace, probably close to a 10:30 or 11 minute mile. I was feeling good and there were plenty of people around me.

I cross the half-way point at 1:06 -- an awesome time. An average of a 10:55 minute mile. Woohoo!

But then I saw the bathroom and I panicked. I didn't really have to go, but then I kinda did. Was this my last chance? What if I had to go at the next mile with no loo in sight? When was the next potty?

So I weaved off and stood in line ... for eight agonizing minutes.

In the end, I'm glad I used it. But when I returned to the race the pack had thinned. Where were all the groups?

So the last half was a power of will and sore legs. I took more walking breaks than I expected. I ran the last 6 at an average of a 13:33 minute mile, way down from my cruising pace before. And the thing was, I was passing people, slowly, with walking breaks, but I was.

I walked a lot those last few miles. It was so hard. My legs were stiff and sore and cold. It was hard to stay motivated -- there were few people around, and those that were were struggling. How did I end up at the very end of the pack?

It was so different than running alone. Alone on the trails -- or with D or my mom -- I felt like I was going fast. So fast. But I read after that the average person completed the race in 2 hours -- a half-hour faster than me! It was tough to stay motivated, except that all the families and volunteers and cops were so nice. They cheered me on and made me smile!

I got a new boost of energy when the rain began falling at mile 11. I only had two more miles to go, I was so close. It was refreshing, at least at first. I could do this. But then I was cold and wet. Sure, it had sprinkled a bit at the beginning, but this was an all-out downpour. It even hailed a little.

Memories of my boss came back to me, with a smile, as he would kindly say -- when it dipped below freezing or snowed 5 inches -- "Today could be race day! This weather could be race day!" Those simple words had prepared me for this.

And so, with a few short walking breaks, I crossed the finishing line. They called out my name and I was so proud!!

I had done it! Three months of built up and three months of training and I had finished my first half marathon!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then they wanted me to bend over and unlace my clip.

hahahahaha yeah right.

Thankfully a kind volunteer untied it while I sat down. I was so stiff, so sore. I walked a bit, stretched a bit, ate some fruit they provided and watched for mom, who made it in 3:03.

She wasn't the last one -- but she thought she was last. I was so proud of her! She was smiling so big at the end, I just loved it.

A kind volunteer on a bike named Tom road with her when she got separated from the others so she knew the course. She could have made some short cuts -- others did -- but she didn't. She wanted to go a full half marathon. And she did! And she stayed positive the whole way!

She said knowing I would be waiting at the finish line helped. For me, knowing someone was there to celebrate with helped.

I'm so proud of us!

Then we got free 10 minute massages, went home, showed, iced some sore muscles and went out to lunch, walking oohh so slowly. I think I smiled the whole afternoon, all those good endorphins.

And you know what? We started talking ... about the next race.

... about how we could train better.

... about how I could run under 2:30, maybe even do an 11 minute mile pace (2:24:06) or maybe, if I pushed hard this summer or next year, close to a 10 minute mile pace (2:11:00)

... about what kind of race we should do next, a 10K? Suddenly a 5K doesn't seem like such a big deal!

I'm just so happy right now.

Who would have thought this goal -- which really started because D was on deployment and I needed something to do at night, to accomplish for me -- would become something I enjoy so much.

Who would have thought? :-)

YAY!

I DID IT!!

I ran and finished my first half marathon!

My official time is 2:36:54, which is an 11:59 minute mile pace.

Minus out my 8 minute bathroom break, and you get 2:28:54, which is an average 11:22 minute mile pace -- the speed I actually ran it at!

YAY!

knees...

I am getting increasingly worried about my knees. I have determine, through no scientific or medical professional opinion, that I injured my iliotibal bands. At least thats what the books say, when there's a dull ache in the outside of your knees.

So ice and stretching is suppose to be the cure. But I'm worried ... the race is Saturday. Six days away.

So yesterday I did nothing. Today I walked two miles and tooled, sooo slowly, around on my bike. Which needs a tune up and some adjustment, as I think it's too small. But I don't want to admit that I bought a bike that's too small for me, I have to think that the bar is just too high. Because it was so expensive - $750 i think.

That's a *bad choice don't listen to the salesman advice* rant for another day.

Anyway.

I'm going to go 2-3 miles Monday and Wednesday, and then just ice every day and stretch before the race.

I'm nervous enough as it is for the race ... and now this.

race day a week away

One week from day, I'll be at the race expo, picking up my race gear.

One week from tomorrow, I'll be going the full 13.2 miles on race day.

This came quickly!

So now I have to figure out the best ways to rest my knees ... ice? stretching? ... while "tapering" ... while carbo-loading ... while still running a few "easy" miles ...

My Mom (who is running the race with me) asked why we need to do all these special things the week before the race. "I know I can do it," she said, "so why do anything special?"

Because it's the race day, that's why!

5 miles

Guess what I did?

Run 5 miles.

Guess where it hurt?

Yeah... my knees.

Distance: 5 miles
Time: 56:40
Avg. Pace: 11:20
Course: Mississippi River trail.
Conditions: 45 degrees, slightly windy, partly cloudy.

today

I'm back down to 129! Yay! Two more pounds to go until I'm back down to 127.

This post is to remind myself of my dedication to running and the half marathon.

I have logged a lot of miles since January, when I started writing them down. But as of late I have faltered... and there's only 10 days until the race.

10!

It's Thursday. It's suppose to be 40 and partly sunny. I will go running after work today. I will. Period.

glass half empty

I took another day off from running today. My eating was better, but not there yet.

Today I needed to focus on my emotions.

This morning I was so mad. Mad at him not attending a family event with me this weekend, mat at the deployments, mad at D's house for not being done, mad at his mom for being an alcoholic and making poor decisions. I was so mad at D for leaving me again, after he was barely home, for a vacation.

And so our wonderfulness began to unwind.

I tried to express my frustrations. All he heard, and seemed to want to communicate, was that he felt we were different. That maybe we should take a break. How unfair it was that after his deployment I was bringing this up, now, while he was on vacation.

But all I was having was a weak moment. A moment when I needed someone to say, it will be okay. The deployments over, it will be back to normal sooner rather than later. That the house is so close to being done, we'll be bbqing there this summer.

I needed him to be optimistic. I have been so strong, so optimistic, our constant cheerleader. I have played that role well over the last six months.

Today, I faltered. Today, I needed him to be optimistic.

But no. Because that's not who he is. He's a pessimist, to the core. So again I had to play the optimist when he started talking about taking a break. I had to be my own cheerleader until, finally, after hours, he said something that gave a sparkle of hope.

That the house would be done this summer. That taking our own vacation in two weeks would be good for us.

Which is great. But more than anything, today's events make me questions us. I can be strong, I've proven that. But I can't be strong alone.

Grrr

So we thought D would run the half marathon with me a week from Saturday. Aparently we thought wrong.

Turns out he has drill that weekend.

His sgt. say they have "accomodated him enough" with him being gone the last six months.

Ahem.

He wasn't on vacation. He was ... ahem ... on deployment.

So it looks like it'll just be my mom and me on race day ... which is fine. I knew that was always a possibility, although I was really hoping D would be either cheering me on in the crowds or running next to me.

He said he'll be back probably next Thursday from Texas, which means he'll be here a whole day before he goes up to do drill. So really, it's two and a half weeks before he's home home.

And he wondered why it was so hard to welcome him home and then turn around and say goodbye.

Sigh.

fooooood

So Easter and all those damn chocolate bunnies and eggs and jelly beans caught up with me.

I weight in at 131 this morning -- up 3 pounds from Friday and 4 pounds from the week before. Even though I ran 8 miles on Saturday. And I can tell. My pants feel tight.

Which means I need to start regulating my eating again, because I know that it wasn't just Sunday that got me. It was Saturday too, and all last week when I ate chocolate bars (instead of just pieces of them) and tacos and two rolls instead of one. I ate more than I normally do, and the only thing I can reason why is because D was home and I was probably seeking out comfort food.

Comfort food? I know it doesn't make a lot of sense ... except that last week, with his homecoming, there was a lot of changes. Quickly. He came home and his stuff took over my apartment. He wanted to go out to eat instead of cook a healthy meal or have the quick frozen burrito that I have been eating for dinners sometimes. He took over my car and I packed pb&j instead of going for co-op soup or subway during lunch. We went for bagels for breakfast and take-out for dinner and I ate the whole thing. He brought home delicious, huge white country buns that I normally would never have bought, let only eat a whole one, but I did.

Which means, I'm just going to need to be more aware of the portions that I'm eating. There's no reason to stop all that I ate this week -- hell, I'm so excited he's home and I've been missing going out to dinner and cooking with him and such -- but I just need to eat about half of what I ate.

Monday's run
Distance: 3-ish miles (probably 3.2 miles)
Time: 35 minutes
Conditions: 40 degrees, sunny, slight wind.
Course: lap warm up/cool down around the park, up to the watertower and back.
Note: My knees kind of hurt on the outside, first on the left and then on the right. I think it may have to do with running on the concrete sidewalk. I will need to investigate.

8 miles

I slept very soundly last night, the first time I have since D came home. I wonder if it was because he was not there; he's enroute (or probably there already) to his father's place in Texas. Being reuinted after a six month deployment is by no means easy, although I'm so glad I have the challenge!

Easter was an eating fest, off-set slightly because of my 8 mile run Saturday morning. I ran on a trail near my parent's house, then two miles of hills, then another mile on the trail. I probably would have gone two more miles except I saw it was noon and my brothers were suppose to be ariving before 1 p.m.

But despite my shorter mileage, I'm proud of what I did. I could have not gone. There was plenty of excuses to be had -- it was cold (20 degrees) it was windy (making it feel like 5 degrees) I was on a mini "vaca" because of the holiday. But I knew I wanted to eat (and eat I did) and I knew it would make me feel better.

And you know what? I felt fabulous after I ran.

Distance: 8 miles
Time: 1:32:00
Avg. Pace: 11:30 min. mile.
Conditions: 20 degrees, sunny, windy. Dressed in tights and wind pants, long sleeve wick-away, sweat shirt and winter coat outer shell, hat and mittens.
Course: 5 miles out-and-back on trail at parent's house, two miles hills, one mile out-and-back on trail.

winter weather

Well, my pants are tight again. And I'm back up 2 pounds to 129. For the second day.

Sigh.

I've been eating crap, so I should expect it. Sure, the co-op food is good. But all the extra cheese, extra bread and ice cream from dairy queen ads up. Quickly, aparently, with the lack of running.

But it's been such crappy weather outside!

I woke up to snow. SNOW! Grr... All I want to do is run in beautiful spring weather and there's an inch of snow outside.

Guess I'll be running in beautiful WINTER weather today.

Home again!

He's home!

And we went running together!

I'm sooo happy.

He's at the base in-processing (or whatever the call it) and I'll see him again in two days. For a few days, then he's visiting his father for a week and a half, and then .. and then he's home-home. For good.

YAY!

We went today on the trail, even with the non-stop drizzle, and it was so much fun. We went at "my" pace, which is a pace slightly faster than I normally go. Which is good! And I honestly thing it wasn't "too" slow for him, which I was worried about. We both got a good workout.

And I have to say, it was nice running with him. It was so good to have him home, after all this time. I love him so much.

Distance: 4.8 miles
Time: 51:35 minutes
Avg. Pace: 10:45 min. miles.
Conditions: 50-ish degrees, slight drizzle.
Course: Beaver Island Trail, with taking the trail-trial route with D.

today!!

D is coming home TODAY!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED!

YAY!

I ran yesterday and we talked about running this weekend together. He signed up for the half-marathon with me, although he hasn't been running because of his military schedule. It will be fun to go out and run together, I think, although I have a feeling he's going to be way faster than me. He has long legs!

Yesterday's run felt good. I was surprised how fast I cruise the hills on the way down from the water tower. At the tower I had run an 11 min. mile pace (17 minutes at 1.5 miles). But I was done in less than 32 minutes!

Which means, I believe, that I need to add another (flat) mile at the end of this route .. for FOUR miles.

I love this! A year ago I couldn't run to the water tower without stopping to walk multiple times. Now I'm thinking I need to add to the workout! :-)

Yesterday's run:
Distance: 3-ish miles.
Time: 32 minutes
Avg. Pace: 10:40 min. mile.
Course: Loop around the park for warm up/cool down, then up to the water tower
Conditions: 60 degrees and cloudy, little wind. (I wore too many layers. note to self, I didn't need the sweatshirt AND the jacket)

One pound

I lost a pound!

It's official. I have lost and kept off one pound -- so I'm down to 127 on my scale -- for two days.

I'm very excited!! My clothes fit better, my jeans are more comfortable. I'm not there completely but I'm very close. Two more pounds and I'm back to my before-deployment/stress/christmas weight. Seven more pounds and I'm at my "goal" weight.

The last few days I've switched up my eating to take the same amount of food I eat and spread it over more time. So basically, I'm eating lots of snacks (and thus resisting the conference room donut stash)

So for breakfast, instead of eating cereal and a banana, I just eat cereal. And then I eat a banana like two hours later. For lunch I've been eating soup and bread, followed by some chocolate, then followed by some fruit and hour or so later, than followed by some yogurt/cereal two hours later. Same for dinner.

I'm eating the same I normally would over a course of a day -- but I feel like I'm eating all the time. I'm snacking. And all that snacking means 1) my blood sugar level is stable and 2) I'm not hungry mid-day when I go looking for whatever goodies are in the conference room.

Yay!

Other good news: D is coming home TOMORROW!! Woohoo! :-)

I haven't run as much as I would have liked so far this week. It's been rainy and gloomy outside, and running on the treadmill inside is HARD mentally.

So I pulled myself through two miles yesterday. Hopefully it clears up today and I can go outside today.

And then, it's getting ready for my man to come home!!

a slow 11 miles

I ran with Mom today, which meant I ran really slow. 13 minute miles slow. And walked alot.

After the first 3 miles I realized I drank waaaay too much before we left and had to the use the bathroom. My tummy was not happy with my feet, and so I doubt I could have moved them any faster than the pace we were going. So we made a detour back to the house, which means we did 5 miles before taking a bathroom break.

The next 5 I could have gone at my own pace, but decided I liked and wanted the company of running with someone today more than I wanted to run fast. Which I'm paying for now because my tendan behind my foot is sore (slower pace means shortened stride, which means sore tendan) but that's okay. I'll run my normal stride this week and probably for the next few weekend because ...

D is coming home in FIVE DAYS!!

Distance: 11 miles (about 1 mile walked)
Time: No idea. More than 2 hours, probably 2:20 or 2:30. We walked alot.
Conditions: semi-windy, warm 60-70 degrees, somewhat cloudy.
Course: 5 mile luceline, break, 5 mile hill loop.

meal vs. pre-meal

Well, the scale wasn't so kind this morning. 130. Grr. Probably all the crap I ate two days ago, and the chocolate from yesterday, finaly caught up with me.

Even though I've ran 9 miles so far this week.. and I'm on schedule to run at least 20, if not 22.

Last night I found myself eating handfuls of cereal, then crackers and salsa, than making myself a frozen enchillada (low sodium and fat of course) with veggies on the side.

It's almost like I'm eating pre-meals to my meal. Which is probably why I'm gaining/not loosing any weight.

Since D left I've often found myself craving a "sit down" meal like we used to have. Rarely would I snack while we cooked together, I was so busy laughing and talking and enjoying us. But now, it's like I can't stop snacking!

So two thoughts:

One. If I find myself pre-mealing, I can give myself permission for that to be a meal. Especially since I find myself doing it when I'm kinda hungry but not hungry enough for a full meal (and then I prepare the full meal anyway, see above). There's nothing to say cereal can't be a meal, or crackers and salsa.

Two. If I decide I actually want a meal, and not just snacks, I need to put off the pre-mealing and just eat the meal. I can do this because, if I didn't want the meal in the first place, I have already given myself permission to just eat pre-meal food.

friday afternoon run

Well, my eating was healthy today EXCEPT for the 300 (or so) calories of chocolate I ate.

Yeah... damn hersey's kisses and reces pieces in the break room. The whole couldn't-keep-my-eyes-awake didn't help, either. All afternoon I was craving sugar so I could boost my energy.

I think I need to limit my sugar.

But other than that, I felt quite satisfied.

It was a gorgeous day today, so warm and sunny! I went for a run around the park and then up to the watertower. About three miles. I took it pretty slow, but it felt good. Hard in some parts but really much more relaxing and destressing.

I can't wait until I can run fast!

Distance: 3 miles (about).
Time: 34:25 minutes.
Avg. Pace: 11:28 min. mile.
Course: Warm up and cool down around the park, up to to the watertower and back.
Conditions: Sunny, warm, 60 degree.

emotional eating?

I need to get back on eating track. I haven't gained any weight (still at 128, for like the ump-teenth week) but I could feel the cravings.

It was hard to walk by those mini donuts at the grocery store. And the candy in the breakroom. And, and, and ...

I'm passing most up because of sheer determination and will power. But it wasn't always this hard. Seriously!

And with D coming home in ONE WEEK from TODAY ... well, why do I feel like I'm loosing this battle?

And then I thought, maybe I'm seeking comfort food because of the stress of his coming home. Okay, I know that sounds weird because I'm SO excited his military deployment will be o-v-e-r. But in a week my whole routine will change, and it will change for the foreseable future, and change is far from the "normal" that I've been looking forward to since his departure. I had no idea the emotions of his homecoming would be so overwhelming!

So maybe I need to just accept the emotions I'm feeling. And pack lots of healthy snacks.

On Wednesday I ran...
Distance: 2.5 miles
Time: 21:45
Avg. Pace: 10:45 min. mile.
Conditions: At the gym.

another rest day

I didn't run today.

I was all set to. I packed by gym bag, I ate a healthy lunch, I ate a healthy snack. But then during work I was driving back from the boonies and my eyes were glazed over from a crazy-long meeting and I was craving something to keep me awake. So what did I have? A cadbury creme egg.

I know they're in the stores because of Easter. But each year I remember back to studying abroad in Ireland and visiting London and how they sold the chocolate eggs in vending machines in the tube. They were rich and definately a treat -- and for whatever reason, I caved.

It was good. Really sweet. And it reaked havoc in my stomach. 171 calories are packed into that tiny thing!

Needless to say, it gave me the sugar rush I needed to drive home accident-free. And then I crashed on my bed, still wrapped in my coat, where I tried not to fall asleep before dinner.

I'm not too disapointed, though. My goal is to run 18-20 miles. I'm planning on doing an 11 mile run on Sunday with mom, and I've already ran 3.5 miles. So if I run one more 3.5 mile run, or break it up over a few days, I should be okay.

The key is not to over train. I'm so close to the half marathon, I don't want to get injured! And I'm liking this slow-but-steady approach to upping mileage. It seems doable.

a 10 min. mile pace

Wow.

I averaged a 10 minute mile today at the gym.

I ran around the track, and if I calculated correctly I was running a lot of my laps at a sub-10 min. mile pace. Which is crazy.

But I was on fire! I didn't let the guys running behind me catch up to me, although he came close a few times. And I passed a slower runner who was plodding along.

I did a lot of sprints, with my fasted 1/13 of a mile (yes, that's the lap at the track at the gym) at a 7 minute mile pace if I calculated it correctly. Which is crazy! It didn't last that long -- about 33 seconds.

But still.

Distance: 3.5 miles.
Time: 35 minutes.
Avg. Pace: 10 min. mile.
Conditions: At the gym's track (counter-clockwise)

5 mins. ab work.

today

I didn't run yesterday, it was cold and windy and it occasionally burst into snow.

I could have gone to the gym, I was only scheduled for five miles -- an hour on the treadmill instead of two hours to run 10 or 11. But I was just so disapointed. The weathermen had promised sunny skies and balmy, warm weather.

I'm surprised how easily I was discouraged, although I know much of it was health related. This past week I felt exausted most days, and I worry I have another batch of mono. I spent much of the mornings lying in bed instead of being out and about. Maybe I needed a rest day instead of a long run.

I did do something I've been wanting to do for a while, though: Clean. With D coming home in less than two weeks now, I want my apartment spick and span. I've kind of let the dust and the grime pile up while he's been away because, hey, I've been the only person living here.

Okay, today's the day to get back on the band wagon. My strategy is to pack my gym bag, and if it's nice when I leave work, to run at home. If it's not nice, I'm prepared for the gym.

So, my goals today:
1. Eat mindfully.
2. Run and do ab and arm work. (I want to increase to 8 minutes for ab work and 5 minutes for arm work).

the hill

I didn't feel like running today, having been exausted all week and pretty dedicated to cleaning this weekend. But I went outside and did a loop up to the watertower and it was worth it! I warmed up by running around the park and then tackled the watertower hill, and I think it seriously helped my ability to run all the way up that crazy incline.

It's funny, though. At the top of the first hill I thought to myself: That wasn't that hard.

That wasn't that hard.

Last year I could not, for the life of me, run up that hill without stopping. I always, always, always had to walk. I thought about this while approached the second hill and third hill and then the crazy-ass hill to the water tower. And as I was going up the crazy-ass hill then I thought: If I couldn't run all the way up before, why did I always try?

Why did I try?

I have been going up that hill since I moved here two years ago. There are plenty of other neighborhood routes I could have taken, plenty of nearby trails I could have driven to and run. But the hill was there, beckoning me, laughing at me, daring me to conquer it.

Today, I conquered it. I ran it in a sub-11 minute mile, possible as fast as a 10:30 minute mile.

And you know what?

It's double-daring me to run it at a 10-minute mile pace.

And I can't turn down a doubled dare.

Distance: 2.8-2.9 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Avg. Pace: 10:30-10:45 min. mile

3 miles

I didn't feel like running today.

All day I had that tired, drag-myself-around-the-office feeling. Almost like when I had mono the last time. Or the time before that, or before that...

I went to the gym and I felt like quitting before I even began. There wasn't any treadmills open, the creepy old guy was running on the track. It would be so easy to go home... but I was already there. So I jumped on an eliptical for 10 minutes until a treadmill opened. I told myself I would run 20 minutes. Than 2 miles. Than 30 minutes. Than 3 miles.

Before I knew it, I was on fire!

It felt good. And I'm feeling good.

The best news of the day/week/month: D is coming home in 16 days. 16 DAYS! That's two weeks earlier than we thought. Which means in two weeks the deployment will be behind us and it means that we will have made it. We will have made it.

Damn, I've missed him these past few months.

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 32:38
Avg. Pace: 10:53 mins.
Where: On the treadmill

5 mins. ab work.

let down

I'm having kind of a work project let down. More than a month straight of work and there hasn't been any feedback. There's still the hope that today I may hear something back. And I suppose no news is good news, but still. There's usually something and the quiet is, well, bothering me.

I'm also having the same let down with my scale. I've been running and eating reasonably, but the number hasn't budged. Again, no news is good news. It could be (heaven forbid) going up instead of going no where.

But I thought that if I ran, you know, FAR that I would be thinner. That it would just naturally happen, I wouldn't have to stress about my calories per day. That my clothes would fit better. I would be an athletic thin but thin none-the-less.

And with SPRING almost HERE, and D almost HOME, well I want to be 125. I want to look cute and thin and athletic and looking amazing in my cute spring and summer clothes.

Sigh.

I look over my food journal and I realize that I'm really not eating that much. Most days I clock in around 2,000 calories, which should be about right for a person of my size running 15-20 miles a week. But obviously that hasn't been working for the last month, so I'll limit it down to about 1,800 calories.

Here's my weekly schedule:
Monday: Rest.
Tuesday: Run 3-3.5 miles, 8 mins. abs.
Wednesday: 30 min. swim.
Thursday: Run 2-3 miles, 8 mins. abs.
Friday: 30 mins swim.
Saturday: Run 2 miles, 8 mins. abs.
Sunday: Run 5 miles.

Totals: 12-15 miles; 24 mins ab work; 60 mins swimming.

not sore

I'm sore, but not as sore as I thought I would be.

10 miles, hills, and not that sore the day after.

I'm getting stronger!

And another plus: it's staying lighter out longer.

I know most people hate losing an hour for day light savings, but I love it. I drove home from work at 5 p.m. and it felt like spring! Like summer was just around the corner, just a few more days and the snow would be gone and D would be home and we would be bbqing outside and enjoying the long summer evenings.

It's so close I can almost smell it...

So I celebrated by mapmyrun-ing some of my local routes. I've found quite a few different variations between 2 and 4 miles around here. What a fun little google tool!

10 miles

I. did. it.

I ran 10 miles! My "oh my goodness that's crazy-ass long" 10 miles. My "how the heck do people run that far" 10 miles. And I did it!

I went on a rather hilly (okay quite hilly) route by my parent's house. I ran the first 4 miles with mom, which was nice. It was nice to have company and to go at a slower pace at the beginning, since I tend to go too fast at first. Surprisingly, I must have ran close to an 11 minute mile (11:20 maybe?) to finish in UNDER two hours.

I was on fire! Even with all those hills. And the equipment helped.

The good: The new long-sleve wick-away shirt, the Gu (I finished with energy, although sore muscles), the new no-spill water-bottle and holder, the map with the miles (I forget which way to turn and like knowing how far is left) and the running tights.

The bad: The new wick-away unders. Ughh. Wedgies are no fun.

Distance: 10 miles
Time: About 2 hours (Just a little less!)
Avg. Pace: 12 min. mile.
Miles run with mom: 4 miles (at a 13 min. mille pace)
Conditions: Started at 30 degrees, warmed to 50 degrees, some breezy parts.
Gu: 3

two miles

I went about two miles up to the water tower this morning, and it felt good. I stopped to walk briefly twice, mostly because I think I started too fast. I reached the water tower after 11 minutes, which surprised me. That's an 11 minute mile! And nearly straight up hill! Of course, I ran even faster downhill. :-)

But you know, there were a few times there where I caught myself and I was cruising. I wasn't just plodding along, I was running. I had stride. I felt strong. I was going to make it up that damn hill.

Ahh, I love running outside!

Distance: About 2 miles
Time: 21:36 min.
Avg. Pace: 10:48 min. mile. (Wow)
Conditions: Sunny, 25 degrees, no wind, somewhat icy roads.

ahhh to run outside

For the first time in at least six months I went running outside today.

And you know what? It felt good.

It was harder than the treadmill, between concentrating on not slipping on the ice/snow/slush and running up and down the smaller hills in my neighborhood. It's somewhat how I imagine trail running, although will better views and way less cars.

And my new running tights and wick-away T-shirt worked wonderfully. I wasn't really cold at all!

I had to stop to walk twice, although those breaks were short. It just felt so good to be outside. I went at a slower pace because I wasn't sure how I would handle the hills and the cold, and I ended feeling like I could have gone a ways longer. I didn't because the sun was going down, but that's a good sign. Especially because I'm hoping to run 10 miles on a somewhat hilly course on Saturday.

Oh, and did I mentoin that the time went faster? That I wasn't as bored? I immediately forgot all my stress at work instead of letting it stew in my head, which happens a lot when I run on the treadmill. It was so nice!

My eating was in line today too, I clocked in just under 2,000 calories which is my limit. I lost a pound this morning (back down to 128) so hopefully that stays off! Although my tummy is still very bloated, I'm thinking because it's that type of month.

Distance: About 3-ish miles.
Time: 35 minutes.
Conditions: 38 degrees, cloudy.
Course: Hilly neighborhoods arond my apartment.

Ab work: 5 minutes.

talking myself out of the bagel

There were bagels in the conference room today. I over heard the woman who brought them in talk about it. She said something along the lines of, "if I'm going to have a bagel I feel bad so I bring everyone a bagel."

Just the thought of a bagel was tempting!! But I resisted, although it took some mental coaching... You don't need bagel. You've already planned out lunch. Lunch is only an hour away. No you don't want a half a bagel. You get a bagel each Sunday before your long run, you don't need this one. You don't want even a little bit of the bagel. They're probably stale and crunchy. They've been sitting out for a while.

Yes, I successfully talked myself out of the bagel.

And then my coworker brought it cookies. Thank goodness the lid stayed ON and the smell didn't beckon.

So I did well. I think I ate about 1900 calories, which is right around my goal.

But the running? Not so well.

I packed some old shorts and sports bra in my gym bag and yikes! They were tight. I didn't think it would be such a big deal but when I started running I couldn't breath. Seriously. The bra was so tight I couldn't breath.

Did they shrink? Has my chest grown? Is my belly expanding? I'm not really sure. I feel a little bloated (my period is coming) but lately my tummy has felt rounder than normal durring my normal weeks too. I'm not sure why, and it's frustrating!!!

Anyway, I lasted 5 minutes running. Then I biked slowly for 20 minutes. I bet I burned 100 calories total.

And I learned my lesson. Wear sports bras that fit. And try them on if you haven't worn them in a while.

Tomorrow: Outside running. I'm working 8-5 tomorrow (hopefully) and will come home and run the hills outside (!!) to the watertower. It's suppose to be in the 40s and I could use the mental lift, even if I have to walk a little bit. I need something different than the gym!!!

And I'll be sure to wear a bra that fits.

not sore

I'm surprisingly not sore today.

I'm really not. Sure, a tad stiff, but I've had 3-mile runs do me in worse. So a hard-ass 9 mile run doesn't leave me sore? I don't understand.

And I also don't understand how I gained a pound. If I really burned 800 calories running, then none of my calories should have counted before lunch. And for lunch I had 2 pancakes and a hard-boiled egg, and for dinner I had veggie-black bean dip with crackers and an ice cream bar. That shouldn't add up to more than 1,300.

So how the heck did I gain a pound?

Is it because I'm not sore today?

This whole weight-eating-right-running-long-distance thing is sooo confusing.

9 miles

Okay, I died after mile seven.

My legs were sore and I had no energy left. None. I mustered up enough of whatever was keeping me going to run to mile 8. And then I walked some, ran some, walked some, ran some, until I was finally done.

I'm amazed, though, that in total I only walked about 5 minutes. How is that possible? I felt like I was walking sooo much. But out of 113 minutes I only walked 5 of them. That's, like, 4.5 percent. Which may be considered statistical error to some...

But wow, that last mile hit me hard. I guess I'm still recovering from my two weeks "off" for the Mississippi trip, and I need to remind myself of that. But what's going to happen in the race if 10 miles in I feel like this, and then I have another 3 miles to go? Limp to the finish line?

But then I have 6 more weeks to train. Six more weeks of mid-week runs and ab work and swimming and long runs. Really four more weeks of long runs, since two weekends will be "recovery" runs. Now 5 miles doesn't seem so far!

I can do this. I can.

But next week... I'm trying Gu after a mile, since that's when I seemed to hit the wall of zero energy. This energy drink shit (I mixed it into my water) felt like it was weighing me down the whole time, not pepping me up.

And I'll continue... To eat a Clif bar immediately after I run. I didn't get that overwhelming nausea (although I got a little bit) that I did last week. It's been about 3 hours since I finished running and, besides sore and stiff legs, I'm feel pretty good. And that's a good sign!

Distance: 9 miles
Time: 1:53
Avg. Pace: 12:30 min mile.
Minutes walked: 5 minutes.
Walked: After 30 mins, after 60 minutes, then after every mile until the last mile, when I walked briefly after every 2/10 a mile. Ouch! I'm sore.

cold-weather walk

I went for a walk outside today, along the blustery, snow-covered roads, and it felt good. I walked a mile up to the watertower and back, although some of the curbs brought chilly wind!

My legs, though, feel refreshed. I wanted to stretch them out a bit from yesterday's strong run but not overwork them, since tomorrow is a 9 miler on the (ugh) treadmill. It's just too cold and the roads are icy and slick. No need to flirt with a sprained ankle!

I wore my new running tights under a wind-breaking layer and I was pleased how warm my legs were. I can't wait to try them out running!

I'm not counting this toward my running mileage, which I'm reserving just for running. (I don't count my 5 minute walking warm-up or cool down at the gym either). But it's worth a mention:

Distance: 2 miles.
Time: 37 minutes.
Avg. Pace: 18:30 min. mile.
Course: Hills up to the water tower.
Conditions: 20 degrees about and windy, snowy and icy roads.

Craving a run

After two days off my legs were aching. Two days of non-running -- one because I needed a day off, one because the mountains of snow forced me to have a day off -- left me, strangly, craving a run.

Craving a run? Well, not exactly. But my legs wanted to stretch out. And then, after I passed the half-way mark, I felt good. Really good.

Strong. Confident. Powerful. Fast. Yes, fast!

I ran most the distance at an 11-minute mile pace, that's a whole minute faster than I normally run! I've been averaging 12 minute miles for, like, months.

And then, out of the blue, I run fast. Woohoo!

Distance: 3.16 miles
Times: 35 minutes
A few short inclines
Avg. Pace: 11:05 (fastest yet!)
People left on the machines after I got off: 0.

Ab work: 5 minutes

And, for the last two days, I've eaten well. More because I wanted to than anything. I listened to by tummy and ate when I was hungry, didn't really snack too much and ate smaller meals when I wasn't that hungry.

And, today, my running improved. Coincidence? I think not.

Today: oatmeal with a banana, coffee with soy milk; pasta salad with tofu and veggies, a pear and a few pretzels; a cliff bar; pasta with veggie marinara sauce, a chic pea pattie and a pair.

snow

The wind is a blowing and the snow is a falling... it's a lot worse than I thought. I (somewhat foolishly) decided this morning that I would come home for lunch and my gym bag. That's a normal routine for me. But damn, it's bad out there. And it's going to get much, much worse.

Which means no gym stop on the way home tonight. No way.

That leaves me two options:
1. Use the apartment treadmill, if it's free or not broken.
2. Do a video.

And since I fell off the bandwagon last night, I'm definately doing one of the two tomorrow.



I wish I had a snow day.

yikes

Okay, I didn't swim or do a video. And I ate way too much. I mentioned this to D on the phone and when he asked what I ate I was to embarassed to tell him everything. You know that's a bad sign.

I said I had a lot of nachos (I did).
I also had lots of chips that weren't nachos.
And one and a half peanut butter sandwiches.
And cheese.
And wine.
And more cheese.

I haven't eaten this much since, um, I dunno when.

WHY!?!

I'm not really sure, although I know I was fully aware of what I was doing each time I went back for a half a sandwich.

Here's how it went:

I got a hair cut after work (very cute!) and didn't feel like going swimming because it was so cold out and my hair looked too cute to wreck with the icky chlorinated water, and plus I didn't have an conditioner to wash my hair after I was done swimming. So I stopped by the grocery to get conditioner and I had this crazy cravings for nachos, so I bought stuff for nachos and forgot the conditioner. So I went back for the conditioner and by that time I was hungry so I went home and opened the bag of chips, fully aware that I should probably be waiting, but I dived in anyway. I did eat a pear but that wasn't satisfying so I kept eating cheese and chips! One thing led to another and then I had a glass of wine because, well why not, but I didn't want to drink without eating and so I had a half a sandwich, and again and again.

I guess we all fall back to old habits from time to time.

Just goes to show I can't handle having peanut butter or cheese in my fridge. Or chips for that matter.

Or wine.

swimming

I woke up feeling tired today and rolled back over and slept in. I don't know if it's me being tired or me knowing that today's my deadline for my Mississippi project. The stress!

Which means I have a crazy busy day and will likely have to work through lunch, which I hate doing because I need the down time. I scheduled a hair cut at 5:15 and then I'm suppose to swim for 30 minutes today. And I don't want to blow of swimming, even though I seriously thought about it this morning, because it feels just so damn good when I'm paddling along in the pool and stretching my legs out for 30 minutes.

But then we're suppose to get like 10 inches of snow today and I don't even know if it's safe to be driving that late, and maybe I should just skip it, and if I do skip it I'll do a bootcamp video. But I would rather swim because the video will leave me sore instead of relaxed for my hill workout tomorrow.

a three miler

Score for eating healthy and running today!

On my eating habits...

I feel like I ate well, although with more carbs that I am used to and I think I'm liking how satisfying eating bread is! I was craving peanut butter before lunch and was happy that I could round out a PB & J sandwich into a meal, since just the sandwich and fruit doesn't fill me up for some reason. I think I got in somewhere between 1700 and 1800. :-)

Breakfast: Coffee with soy milk, 1/3 cup granola, 2/3 cup low-fat yogurt, banana.
Lunch: PB & J sandwich (whole grain bread, 1 tbs peanut butter), pear, grapes, 1/2 cup carrot and cashew soup. Handful of chocolate-covered raisings.
Snack: Cliff bar.
Dinner: Amy's low sodium bean enchilatas, brocolli and black bean mix, apple.
Snack: Half PB&J sandwich.

On to running...

The first mile was hard, though. I got a side stich that I was able to run through, thankfully. I can't figure out why, though. I ate maybe two hours before I ran. I did drink some water maybe 20 minutes before I ran, but that shouldn't have been a problem. Maybe I didn't warm up properly (all the treadmills were full and I hopped on an eliptical). But after the first mile it got easier, I moved up to a 11:30 min. mile pace and stayed there until I began running my speed intervals. Those were hard too but not too hard, and my heart didn't get going too fast like before.

Distance: 5.05 miles
Time: 35 minutes.
Avg. Pace: 11:29 min. mile
Speed: After 1.5 miles, 10 1:1
Sidestiches: 1, ran through it.

Abs: 5 minutes.

inches

I was pleasently surprised this morning to see that I've lost one inch from my waist and one inch from my hips, although I've only lost one pound since October, when I last measured myself (and wrote it down).

Of course, this could be an instance where I'm measuring myself at the wrong place (I aim for the widest sections) but somehow I don't think so. I think I honestly lost the inches.

Which makes me happy!

And proves that all this exercise is working, despite the scale not budging.

Remember: Muscle weights more than fat, but takes up a hell of a lot less space!

My goals today:
1. Eat well
2. Run for 35 minutes
3. Do 5 minutes of ab work.

my food

I cleaned off everything my plate today, but I didn't eat before actually sitting down to eat (something I tend to do). And the random sugar cookies in the break room? I had two bites and then threw it away.

I think I had about 2,000 calories or so. That's about where I'm aiming, although I guess I would like to be as low as 1,800 calories if possible.

Here's what I had. Pretty healthy:

Breakfast: Coffee with soy milk, 1/3 cup granola. 2/3 cup low fat plain yogurt, banana.
Snack: Tea with skim milk.
Lunch: Subway cheese and veggie sandwich with low-fat honey mustard, sun chips.
Snack: 100-calorie popcorn, apple, 2 bites of a sugar cookie.
Dinner: Spinach and tomato salad with french and balsamic dressing, 1 cup carrot and cashew soup, 1 slice multi-grain bread, chick-pea pattie, grapes, 1/4 cup ice cream.

On an aside, this Mississippi project is killing me. I'm so stressed out I'm getting writer's block! I brought my work lap top home to try and get stuff done, most of everything is due Tuesday and completely Wednesday. That's two days. Eek!

loosing weight

I've fully recovered from my 8 mile jaunt yesterday, although the back of my legs remain slightly sore.

My quick recovery must mean two things: 1) I'm becoming healthier and fitter and 2) I'm eating right to help speed up recovery.

But this second conclusion is a little hard to swallow, mostly because my weight during this whole training, has not dipped below last-year's high of 128. (Granted, I lost the 4 holiday pounds I put on since I began running in January... but still).

My scale has not budged! It's been at 128 for a quite a few weeks now, sometimes bouncing up for a day but pretty much hovering there.

I thought that training for this race would help me kick-start my weight loss. My real goal is to loose 3 lbs -- that's it, just 3! -- because my clothes are just a tad tight. And 125 is such a nice number.

And it's not that I feel fat, really. I feel strong. When I was 125 last summer, I didn't feel strong. I couldn't run far, I had lost most my aerobic energy, my legs were not as toned. Strong, but not thin.

I feel like I'm eating well to fuel by body. I'm mindful of eating lots of protein and carbs, where as before I might forgo carbs and instead eat more veggies or fruit than I do now, which is a lot.

I remember D teasing me one morning, when he said: Want some cereal with your fruit?

Now I eat a normal cereal portion because you need carbs to run long. And I swear, I've been measuring out my serving sizes!

(Although I did eat two servings of ice cream yesterday. What's the point of running so far if you can't at least indulge a little?)

So that leaves me with four things to try, as I do want to loose those 3 lbs before D returns at the beginning of April. It'll be spring, and really swim suit season is not that far off.

So here the three things...

1. Write everything down. I've let my food diary slip.
2. Only eat pre-planned snacks. Or fruit. Yes, I'm guilty of eating a handful of pasta or cereal or a slice of bread with hummus before dinner.
3. Leave one bite of food on my plate.
4. For desert, implement the three bite rule. I can have desert a few times a week, but I need to savor each bite. And only eat three bites.

That should cut the 2-300 extra calories I'm eating each day, enough to loose a pound a week or so, without really damaging my running or refueling.

8 miles

I did it!

I had to walk, but I ran 8 miles today. After a 30-minute workout shoveling out my car from the 13" of snow that fell.

I think I walked about 6 minutes total. Not bad. I also have to remember that I took all week two weeks ago off while I was in Mississippi, and this past running week was more catch up that anything. I was remembering how to run!

So I think today was a success. Despite the snow, I ran. Despite having to walk a bit, I finished.

And I learned two things:
1. Running in my new wick-away t-shirt is FABULOUS!
2. Drinking petia-lite while I run is no good; I'm sticking to water.

Distance: 8 miles
Time: 1:42:00
Avg. Pace: 12:45 min. mile.
Minutes walked: 6 min. mile.
Basic running pace: 12 min. mile

i can do it

My goal today is 8 miles. I went to bed (and woke up this morning) by doing some positive thinking: I can run 8 miles, I can run 8 miles.

I ate my bagel and banana breakfast, put on my running gear (including my new wick-away t-shirt! I look so sporty!) and have almost finished packing my gym bag.

D recommended mixing some pedia-lite with water instead of drinking a sports drink, so I'm trying that today. He said that's what they drank during military training, when they forced him to run a crazy distances only drill seargants would demand.

So I might as well give it a try.

D said he ran 5 miles yesterday (the first time he ran in a while!) and I can't believe how naturally athletic he is. It took me weeks to work myself up to 5 miles, and he can just go out and run that far? But he reassured me that he'll run the half with me, not ahead of me, because it's more about doing it together. And he said he's not really training (his idea and my idea of training, so different!) and that he'll need to run slower to finish. I'll be the pace bunny. :-)

Because there's a foot of snow outside I'm leaving about a half-hour early, so I can get to the gym on time. I learned a few weeks ago that delaying running too long after you eat will leave you dizzy and unable to perform well.

I'm almost kind of scared to see how snowed in my car is. As I write I'm watching a van try to get out from under a snow-plow induced wall of snow.

If I can't make it, I can always go to the dungeon that is my apartment gym. And run on their one working treadmill. And stare at their wall.

Wish me luck!

trails

I'm bored, the movie I rented wasn't that good (good book, bad and sulky movie) and so I found myself googling local parks for trails for trail runs this summer.

None of them seem to have mileage on them. Very odd.

It might be a reason to get a stop watch.

If I know the time I'm running, I don't have to worry about the distance!

That might be my next "reward," after I run 10 miles straight in two weeks from tomorrow. 10 miles is my "wow" distance. It seems like forever (even now, when I'm scheduled to run 8 miles tomorrow). And from what I've read, it seems to be a good endurance maintenance distance, a distance I plan on running on Sundays even after the half-marathon has come and gone. 10 miles should take me around two hours; yet now, even with the wow factor, it seems doable.

But if 7 miles seemed like agony on the treadmill (which I will be revisiting again tomorrow, sadly), I can only imagine what 10 miles indoors or even 10 miles on neighborhood roads feels like.

Don't get me wrong, I like running in neighborhoods. I'm very fond of my 2 mile hill workout to the water tower. (One mile up the hill to the water tower, one mile back down). But passing the same cookie-cutter houses, the same neighbors, the same mini-vans and sedan cars?

No, 10 miles calls for more. It calls for excitement, for choosing a better place to run, for loosing yourself in nature. For running on trails that may not be marked by mile markers; for creating your own trails (so to speak).

I think I just made a case for a new watch in two weeks!

And I've found a new goal, although it's not as defined as finishing this half-marathon race. It's to find each trail that's within a 20 minute drive and run it this summer. I know, driving to run seems counter-intuitive. But I live in what feels like small town U.S.A. Anyway, when I lived in D.C., I knew of folks that took the metro to the mall, ahemm, The Mall, to run.

So how is driving to a trail any different?

i did it

I did it! I did all my workouts this week. Today I ran a mile and did 50 minutes of yoga. (It would have been 2 miles and an hour of yoga, except I awoke to find a sheet of ice an inch thick on my car... it took so long to scrape it off.) But I have to look at this as a victory.

Six months ago I would have saw the ice on my car and turned around, gone back to my apartment and crawled into bed.

But I went:

Distance: 1 mile.
Time: 10:35 mins.

and

50 minutes yoga.

Tomorrow I'm scheduled for 8 miles. It's snowing and shitty out, so even if I do go buy running tights today I probably won't be able to go outside tomorrow. But I'm hoping, with my new winter gear, I'll be able to "mix it up" outside next week!

I'm also liking the whole "if I train this week I get to buy something for running" thing. Especially since "technical" gear is soooo much more comfortable. D's right, training makes you a gear-head! Here's my list of wants:

Running tights
Wick-away sports bra
Wick-away t-shirt
Wick-away long sleve shirt
More wick-away socks
Sports watch (I kind of want a heart-rate monitor, but since I'm just beginning I feel like that's too much. Maybe next year).
Trail shoes (I want to take up trail running, although trails around the flatness of Minnesota are kind of limitted. But there are two or three that I've found.)
New training swim suit.

Hmm.... What will I buy next week...

Here's my schedule. I've boosted up swimming a day and added 5 minutes to my runs mid-week. I'm also going to start doing 5 minutes of core work after my mid-week runs; I know enough moves, and there's always an available ball at the gym. I just need to put them to good use after a run.

Monday Rest.
Tuesday: Run 35 mins. Some speed. 5 mins. core work.
Wednesday: Swim 30 mins.
Thursday: Run 35 mins. Hills. 5 mins. core work.
Friday: Swim 30 mins.
Saturday: Run 2 miles. Hour yoga.
Sunday: Run 9 miles.

Total mileage: 17 miles.
Total cross-training: 2 hours.
Total core/ weights: 10 minutes.

hills

My knee is slightly sore today. I think it's because I'm not used to running incline on the treadmill. I mean high incline, 6.0 at one point incline.

On an aside, I made a new cooking discovery. I was looking for something tasty to add to my rice and tofu and veggie stirfry mix, and I added a dash of lime juice and maple syrup. It was amazing. None of the salt of soy sauce, none of the fat of regular dressing I sometimes mix in (you know the fat-free dressing's not worth it).

And I have a new motivator, which I think will help me with the ab work I've been putting off and off again. D says he'll probably be home early (!!!!) from his deployment. Sometime around the first week in April instead of the last week. So that's 6 weeks instead of 8!

I know he wont care, but I want to look gooood when he gets home. Bikini good! :-)

Tomorrow: The Ball Video!


Distance: 2.6 mies
Time: 30 minutes
Avg. Pace: 11:32 min. mile
Hills, set to random

swimming

I swam today for 30 minutes. I switched between the kickboard and actually swimming.

It was tough, but it felt good. Like I was using my muscles without all the pounding, and I was stretching them out a the same time.

Maybe I should go for a swim once a week.

dreaming of getting away

I'm so excited! I just booked a room in a lodge for after D comes home from his six-month deployment. It has a jaccuzzi. And a fireplace. And a deck. And it overlooks a great lake. And is on the top floor. Did I mention it has a jaccuzzi?

Granted, it's for the beginning of May, so it won't be exactly warm. But that's not the point. The point it to go away together and spend time together. In a jaccuzzi. Or in front of a fireplace.

And the timing couldn't be better. He'll be home a few days/week before the big race, which we'll run together on April 21. And then the very next weekend we're off to our lakeside get away for four nights. And hopefully we'll be recovered enough to hike along the trails.

Perfect!

running again

Tonight's run was hard. Very hard. My heart rate got going too fast and by the fourth interval I had to slow down a bit. After my run I looked in the mirror and my face was beat red. I suppose that's to be expected after nearly a week of not running.

But I did it. The full 30 minutes, the full way. I need to remember that three months ago and I couldn't even do that.

But, somewhat sadly, I'm already deviating from my plan I posted this morning. No ball video for me tonight; it's already 9 p.m. and I need to go to work early tomorrow. Now that I'm back from Mississippi I need to write, write, write! What a time to get writer's block.

Distance: 2.62 miles
Time: 30 minutes
Avg. Pace: 11:27 min. mile
Intervals: 2:2, then 2:3

weekly goals

I need to get myself back on track, so I'm going to post my goals this week:

Monday: Rest.
Tuesday: 30 mins run, intervals; 30 mins core ball
Wednesday: 30 mins swim
Thursday: 30 mins run, hills; 30 mins core ball
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 2 mile run or spin; yoga
Sunday: 8 mile run

Pretty ambitious for a girl that took almost a week off last week. But my weight's back down to 128 (yay!) and my legs are starting to crave the exercise. I just have to remind myself that I CAN DO THIS!!

As a reward for finishing this week ... I'm going to buy myself some outdoor running tights, which I can hopefully next week. The temps are dancing around 40 degrees and looking through my ratty winter running gear, I realize I have nothing suitable. And soon it will be light enough to run after work. I drove home at 6 p.m. last night and actually saw the sun set!

a blob

Okay, I'm a blob. I didn't do the exercise video tonight.

Why is it so hard to get back in the running groove? I was on such a roll, and then I crashed.

But tomorrow, I'm for sure hitting the gym. For sure.

exausting

Work today was exausting. I'm still hungover from my junk food binge and 12+ hour work days last week. I ate better than all last week, but still had more than my fair share of chocolate.

I plan on doing the ball video this evening. Hopefully that will help my recovery.

But on the plus side, I'm at about the same weight as before the trip. I clocked in at about 129 this morning. I was down to 127 about two weeks before the trip, but looking at my calendar I was 129 the week before. Not bad.

D told me he signed up for the half-marathon. He wants to run together, and I like the idea but wonder about it. He's a natural athlete (tall, naturally lean, etc) while I am far from that. If he really trained, there's no way I could keep up. And I wonder if he'll like running at my slow pace (a 12 min. mile). He hasn't been running much, but he's athletic enough to catch up and surpass me in the next two months.

We've never actually run together. He's 6'2, I'm 5'3. Just that height difference makes a big difference.

We shall see ...

Mississippi

This work tripped killed me!

I started off with the best of intentions ...

After two full days (12+ hours) sitting in a van on the way to Mississippi, I ran about 30 minutes in beautiful balmy 70-degree weather. I ran up and down the neighborhoods, up and down some slight hills, for 30 minutes. I had no music, but I felt so alive being outside and my legs felt so strong. And strong as they've ever felt!

I cannot wait until summer here! As soon as it gets about 40, I'll be outside. Monday's run reminded me how much I love running through neighborhoods, looking at all the houses and waving to the people I pass!! When is this cold going to go away?

But Monday was the end of my running.

The weather turned colder down South, and all I had packed was running shorts. Even if I had found my way to a store to buy running pants (something I was seriously considering) my days were packed. I worked 12 hours Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and that doesn't count the "group time" I spent with 17 other people on this trip. I suppose I could have skipped the group meals and such (and thus skipping the unhealthy junk I ate), but that was part of the experience, and I'm supposed to write about the experience.

I ate healthy for the first few days. I packed apples and grapes and bars to munch on the way down. But finding healthy veggie food was tough, tougher than here. None of their travel stops offered fruit (here there's always at least a banana or apple), everything was deep fried (the one veggie offering at one restaurant was eggplant parmesan -- deep fried!) and other restaurants only offered cheese pizza. And I normally avoid restaurant pizza with a passion. It's so much healthier and satisfying when I make my own.

So, needless to say, my eating healthfully quickly went south. Literally. With little options and little time to seek out healthy ones, I ate what was available. And it was greasy, sometimes deep fried, always cheesy, and never with much fruits or veggies.

I felt like crap when I got home. From lack of running but also all the junk!

So the first thing I did was go to the grocery store. I bought grapes and apples and bananas, broccoli, asparagus, green peppers, spinach, squash, sweet potatoes, yogurt and soymilk. My staples -- all things I was craving!

Last night I made mashed sweet potatoes, a veggie stir-fry with some chic pea nuggets. So yummy! So satisfying! So healthy! (Ok, the brownies that I ate afterward were not so healthy, but they were sitting there looking at me ... a leftover sugar craving from all the junk all week).

And today for lunch, I'm heading to the co-op. They always have the yummiest veggie soups, and they're always thick and hearty. I don't know what I would do without the co-op here! After visiting a place without a good one (I found one on the last day but their selection was so little, their soups so watery ...) I am very thankful for the co-op we have here.

But as for running, I think the extended car ride plus the junk food messed with my athletic ability. It had been five days since I ran, and I could barely go 2 miles. In fact, I went 1.8 miles. And I walked some. I felt horrible, my whole body ached, the effort I put forth to go just 12 mph was amazing.

But I did it. And I hopped on the stationary bike afterward for 25 minutes. Nothing fast, but it stretched my legs out.

Sunday
Distance: 1.8 miles
Time: 24 minutes
Avg. Pace: 13:30 mph
Walked: 2
Stationary bike slowly: 25 minutes

On an aside, I think I'm going to give up diet coke and corn syrup as much as I can. I ate some Hershey’s chocolate on the trip, and it was so sweet! And really not as good as the quality dark chocolate I buy at the co-op. Much more satisfying and it doesn't leave you craving more sweets.

It's one of the things I've read about recently, going back to a "natural" way of eating instead of a processed one. And I'm reading a really fabulous book "French Women For All Seasons," by the same author of "French Women Don't Get Fat," that is about eating well, eating natural food, enjoying food in season and celebrating each season as a way of celebrating life.

Days without Diet Coke: 1

travel

Well, I am off. Packed and ready to roll.

So why am I so nervous?

I couldn't sleep last night, waking up multiple times and finally getting up before my alarm went off at 5 a.m. I'm getting nervous about this work trip. D called late -- maybe 1:30 a.m. -- to say goodnight. It's our nightly ritual and I relish it. I tossed and turned until he called.

I packed loads of healthy food for the trip, and I'm crossing my fingers that we don't stop at greasy joints the whole way down. Grapes, apples, power bars, water, baggies to put the cores in. I should be set. I hope they don't mind stopping every two hours to go potty.

I weighed in this morning at about 130, highest I've been in a few weeks. I'm thinking all those brownies and cookies over the last few days caught up with me. I suppose I can't eat whatever even though I ran seven miles and burned almost 650 calories. I'm going back this week to writing in my food journal.

Wish me luck!

seven miles

I ran seven miles today, breaking yet another record of the longest I've ever run (This is fun! New record every week!) and I feel good.

The bagel and banana breakfast and then splitting the muscle milk before and after the run really helped. I also took some running advice and ate pasta last night, which I hear is important before a long run the next day. And all that wisdom worked! Not once did I feel faint or sick to my stomach, and in all reality I felt strong after mile three. To my surprise, despite my short walking break, I also ran seven miles at a pace faster than Sunday's six miles, probably because I fueled myself better.

Running on the treadmill at the gym was boring, but not nearly as boring as my apartment complex's treadmill. I can't wait for warmer weather! I've been searching online for new trails around here, and it turns out there's a 14 mile trail about 20 minute's from D's house. That's more than a half-marathon -- think I can do it this summer?

On an aside, I've leaving tomorrow for this work trip. I have mixed feelings. I'm excited about the opportunity, nervous about sharing a 20-hour van ride both ways with strangers (I like my privacy!), stressed about producing award-winning work and tired just thinking about it. I've set aside one pair of running clothes to bring with me, and I've printed out directions to the nearest YMCA there, but I just don't know if I'll be able to swing it.

But I have to count my blessings, too. This is an awesome opportunity and, of everyone at work, they picked me! And it's definately making the time until D comes home from deployment go faster. He's thinking he'll be here by April 18 -- which means 9 weeks!! We're in the home stretch.

D's agreed to run the half-marathon with me, at my pace (!!!!) even though he's one of those crazy-talented natural athletes that can run a 7 min. mile. It's a week or so after he get home, and I think the 13.1 miles has become symbolic, in a way, of our relationship during this deployment. I can't wait to cross the finish line and give him a big kiss! :-)

Distance: 7 miles
Time: 1 hour 23 minutes
Avg. Pace: 11:51 min. mile
Walked: 1 time, for .1 mile at mile 5
Guy slowly walking around track while reading a novel: 1

soreness

My legs are still sore from yesterday, so I've opted to take the day off. And tomorrow off too. My plan is to run 7 miles on Friday, since I'll be traveling for work all next week (including two 20 hours stints in a van!) I'm planning on packing my running gear, but I just don't know if I'll log any miles.

But I'm making two stops tomorrow: to buy muscle milk and bagels!! :-)

listening

I was running along today on the treadmill and suddenly at the last interva I could feel my heart. I mean, really feel it on the left side of my chest. It scared me so much that I immediately slowed from my interval pace of a 9:20 min. mile. I think my heart rate just got going too fast. I cut the workout a little short by stopping intervals and finished it out with a slow jog for about five minutes, my normal cool down.

It's kind of scary that I could feel my heart, I should probably watch my exertion more. But I'm also glad that I listened to my body. There's a difference between running through pain and running through PAIN, and I don't want to wreck my running career before it even begins!

I also got some great eating advice from my triathalon coworker. He suggested eating a bagel, OJ and a banana an hour or so before a long run, and then refueling with an hour afterward with a protein-rich lunch or smoothy. (Wooohoo! Tofu smoothy!)

D also suggested getting something called muscle milk to drink before/after a long run, and then some whey protein powder to mix into smoothies during the week. Now I always thought that loading up on protein was a muscle builder thing -- but I can see the advantage of extra protein for me. Being a vegetarian and all, there's really only so much tofu and beans I can eat!

Distance: 2.3 miles
Time: 25 minutes
Pace: 10:52
Intervals: 6 speed, 2:1
Heart pains: 1

diet, gu

I gained a pound this morning (back up to 129) and I didn't drag my butt to the gym this morning, like I planned. I'm working late tonight, but as I lay under my covers dreading the getting up into the cold I rationalized that I could just take an extended dinner hour break from work. And run then.

I read some info online last night about eating to run and about gu, which my triathalon coworker eats regularly on long workouts.

I think I need to make over my diet to include more carbs and less fat (I tend to mostly focus on vegetarian protein and veggies, and cheese and chocolate!). I haven't bought any bread lately and sometimes I'm just too lazy to make rice or pasta (solution: make a few servings at a time and use it later in the week).

Oh, and I figure I should eat gu once I hit running for an hour and 30 minutes, which will likely be by the end of the month. This past six miler completely drained me at the end, and it makes sense that to keep exerting yourself you have to eat (or slurp?) some easily digested gu to refuel and keep going. It looks like peope usually eat (slurp?) it after 45 minutes to an hour on a 1:30 to 2 hour long run, but more investigation might be needed. Now the big question, where do you buy gu?

eat to run

I burned a ton of calories yesterday, even lost a pound so I weight 128 this morning.

But shit, all the crap I've been eating? I wouldn't be surprised if I gained it all back!

Granted, I had a shitty day. My car wouldn't start, my computer at worked crashed, there were loads (and still are) of chocolate and chips and post-super bowl munchies at work. And I just couldn't resist!

I know this happens. And I have learned (and am doing tonight, after that last handful of chocolate) that it's not too late to start new. My next choice will be healthy!

But I also need to learn, in thinking over the last few days, how to eat for running for my long runs! I'm fine when I do my normal weekly mileage. But for my long runs, which are branching into over an hour, I get so hungry -- and then I eat crap -- instead of my normal healthy meals. And it lasts for like two days.

Time to learn!

try, try, and finish

I started off miserable: my little red mazada doesn't like negative temperatures, and then the one treadmill at the apartment gym was taken two times before I snagged it. And then, around mile three, I just felt exausted. And bored. Bored out of my freaken mind! Nothing good was on tv, the podcasts I downloaded were worthless and, well, I was staring at the freaken wall the whole time. At least at the gym, I can watch the people coming and going infront of me!

And then, when I got back to my apartment, I felt like I was going to die. And throw up. And throw up again.

I made a few mistakes. I didn't eat enough before the workout -- probably because I wanted to run at noon and didn't actually get on the treadmill until almost 3 p.m. And I didn't eat enough carbs, I don't think.

But I did it. I tried, tried again, and I finished. Even if I had to walk a bit, and it took me freaken forever, and I was freaken bored out of my mind. I did it!

Distance: 6 miles
Time: 1:14:24
Avg. Pace: 12:24
Walked: 2-3 times
Temperature on my way to the gym: -10
What it really felt like: -32
Failed attempts to start my car: 2
Failed attempts to snag the one working treadmill at my apartment's gym: 2
Time it took just to get on the treadmill: 3 hours

Sunday

My car won't start because it's too f-ing cold here.

Not because my battery is dead or because I'm out of gas. No, it's because my little red mazada just doesn't like -10 degrees.

And as for the six miles I'm suppose to go? Well, the gym's out. And I've walked twice to the apartment gym (braving windchills of 35 below) only to find that the one treadmill working is occupied. I'm going to walk over one more time, the guy said he would be done in a half hour. Third time's a charm, right?

What a stupid Sunday. Grr.

january stats

January ...

Total miles: 35.05
Total time: 6 hours 39 minutes
Avg pace: 11:23 min. mile

Days ran: 13
Days non-run workout: 6
Total days worked out: 19 days (61 percent of days)
Treadmill runs: 13
Outside runs: 0

Start weight: 132
End weight: 128

January long run progression: 3, 4, 5, 2
January weekly mileage: 4, 7.5, 8.5, 10

February long run goals: 6, 7, 3, 8

January new gear: running shoes, 2 pair socks, 1 running short, gym bag, race calendar.

Races entered: Earth Day Half Marathon, St. Cloud, April 21!
Races want to enter: St. Paddy's Day 8K, St. Paul, March 18!

arctic

I just had to get out of the house today, despite the crazy arctic weather. So why not stop at the gym for a two mile run? My schedule has me only running three days a week, but I just felt like adding a day. And I didn't really feel like doing my "bootcamp" video. Who knows, maybe four days will fit me better.

And this summer, I want a run to be part of my routine. Why should two -- or three or four --- miles be that big of a deal? It shouldn't, although it right now because I'm just a beginner. But this summer I want to make a three mile run routine, and the ten miles on the weekends a real workout!

On an aside, a just ate an organic apple. It was sweet, crisp, ripe... well worth the extra 75 cents or so! I'm buying organic more often.

Saturday
Time: 22:25 minutes
Distance: 2 miles
Avg. Pace: 11:12 min. mile.
Temperature braved to get to gym: -9 degrees
What it really fealt like (windchill): -31 degrees

thoughts

Two random thoughts occured to me today:

1. Maybe the bootcamp video I've been doing twice a week is actually making my hips bigger (with all the muscle I've gained from doing crazy lunges and squats). How else to explain the tight pants despite the 4 lbs lost?

2. Maybe if I cut high fructose corn syrup out of my diet (it's pretty little as it is), I'll be healthier and more satisfied after I eat. And thus won't crave sweets. This after eating some high fructose-laced chocolate chips. They were almost too sweet!

Now, I'm off to hide from this negative degree weather in my nice warm bed. And read two magazines that came today: Runner's World and Vegetarian Times. What a combo!

warm thoughts

It's zero degrees... -30 below windchill... I hate winter!

Not only is it cold and miserable outside, and just walking to your car has a serious risk of frostbite, but running on a treadmill is nothing like running outside. There's nothing interesting to look at, there's no communing with nature.

But soon, when spring comes, I'll be ale to ...

- Run with the puppies outside
- Run short on the shady-tree trail
- Run long on the rolling-hills trail
- Run circles around the water hole park
- Run along the Mississippi
- Run on new trails and in new parks I haven't tried yet

And ...

- Swim in the lake with the puppies
- Go to the farmer's market
- Grill outside
- Bike around town
- Lay out in the sun (with loads of sunscreen)
- Feel warm again

stats

Thursday
Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 2.55 miles
Avg. Pace: 11:45 min. mile
Intervals: 5, hills, 2:1
Walked: 1 time, 2 minutes.
Horrible side stiches: 2
Guys that stood on a treadmill but didn't move: 1
Women with crazy swinging walking arms: 1


Tuesday:
Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 2.85 miles
Avg. Pace: 10:31 min. mile
Intervals: 7 speed, 2:1
Walked: 0

down

Why do I feel so down today?

Maybe because the sun hasn't come out in days. Or because it's so damn cold. Or because my waist doesn't appear to be shrinking, as planned.

Or because April ... and this summer ... seem ages away.

sick?

The back of my throat is beginning to feel itchy ... and my thoughts are drifting back to my ever-sick coworker, who came to speak with me on Monday but instead coughed oh me ...

I'm sure the stress isn't helping my germ-fighting capabilities. And I've done everything I can, really: I work out regularly now, I eat relatively well, I take my daily vitamin. But my sleep habits and stress level have much to be desired.

Sigh ...

stressed!

I worked my little buns of today. Worked, worked, worked!

I didn't get leave the office until 8 p.m. -- late! And I have to be there early tomorrow morning, close to 8 a.m. I'm so busy, and all I want to do is relax and not feel stressed. But I have a big project being published Sunday, and leaving on a trip in two weeks for another large project, so the stress just keeps mounting!

When it rain, it pours!

Of course, I should be lucky to have the oppotunity. It's a cut-throught industry, and the added projects means I'm doing something write. People above me believe in me.

But sometimes, all you want to do is relax!

I didn't get the chance to exercise today, which was frustrating. I worked too late. I was so hungry when I got home -- but thanks to the veggie lazagna in the freezer, I had a nice, well balanced meal. A salad, part of a sweet potato, broccoli and that yummy, 350-calorie tofu lazagna. That's what I call a win.

And I have to count the small successes where I can.

It's hard not to get down lately. Yes, I've been doing better eating and exercising. But my pants are still tight! And I still run oh so slowly.

And, well, it's cold outside. And it's dark all the time. And my guy is down on the border pulling guard duty instead of here with me, curled up next to a fire. And we have big things to worry about when he gets home in April -- the possibility of going to Iraq, how he's going to fix his house, etc. It's enough to make a girl crazy!

With all the stress in the world -- with work stress and personal stress and state-of-the-world stress -- how's a girl to manage?

intervals

I felt good today, although I didn't quite make my calorie goal. (That damn extra slice of cheese and the peanut butter! What can I say, I was craving comfort food).

But I did run. And I ran well. I ran for 30 minutes, and for 20 of those minutes I did 2:1 speed intervals: 2 minutes at a high speed and 1 minute recovery. All while on a .5 percent incline.

Pretty good!

I'm not really sore tonight. But the really amazing part? Those 30 minutes went by sooo fast.

A few weeks ago, running for 30 minutes dragged on and on. It felt like forever. But with this new interval workout, it wizzes by. I'm so focused on the two minutes of speed, and thankful for the 1 minute of recovery, that soon 20 minutes is done.

Which has made me decide to do intervals twice a week. On Tuesdays I will do speed, like today, and on Thursdays I will do hill intervals (a burst of incline coupled with a smaller burst of speed, and then a recovery period). And I'm going to try to stick with the 2:1 ratio.

And, based on everything I've read, this is a great training strategy. It makes you stronger and faster quicker, they say.

I'll be ready for that half-marathon yet!

bandwagons

While I jumped on the exercise bandwagon, I've fallen off the healthy eating bandwagon.

Tonight -- well, today, and probably yeterday too -- I realized that running 5 miles on Sunday is not an excuse to eat lots of food during the weekend and into Monday!

I remember getting done with the run, and after an hour or two I was so hungry! I had a nice lunch, but then I just kept right on eating. Snacks here, desert there.

Part of my half-marathon training will be training my mind to realize that exercise is not an excuse to eat. It does not justify eating lots more. And because I want to loose a few pounds, I should be maintaining my eating (and eating for health, to fuel my body) instead of gorging on fudge pops!

Oh, the lessons we learn.

But tomorrow is another day. Another day to eat well, run and feel good about myself.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping back on the bandwagon!

Ouch!

I popped an advil this morning, despite not having a throbbing headache. I was just that sore.

I ran five miles yesterday on a treadmill at the YMCA. I ran it in 57:45 minutes, a time that I'm happy with because it's under an hour. I've only run 5 miles one other time, last year. And while I was mentally and physically prepared this time around, my muscles took a beating.

And I have battle scars. Yes, that's right -- chaffing. Ouch! After mile 3 my inner thighs began to hurt. By mile 4 I was running with a weird, wider stride to try and prevent the inevitable. By the time I slowed down after passing mile 5, there were round, red bumps on both legs.

A few quick google searches and I see this is a common problem. Which makes sense, because I'm more the "curvy" runner than the "long and lean" runner.

But I'm confused by all the solutions offered: vasoline, special chaffing cream, wearing bike shorts.

Do I really need to carry a small thing of vasoline, to apply to my thighs when I run? And does the special chaffing cream really work? And wouldn't the bike shorts make me chafe, well, in other places?

And I thought running would be one of the simpler sports to take up!

fabulous

I just completed my last workout of the week (I'm on a Sunday-Saturday schedule, mostly because of how my calendar works out). And I feel good.

I can already see the definition in my lef muscles, and my arms are starting to feel it. I think adding the 40 minute bootcamp video to my weekly routine helps a lot. It's mostly squats, lunges, core and arm moves, and I can tell that targeting each major muscle group is helping.

I can't wait until the summer -- I'll look fabulous in a swim suit!

And I can tell that exercising is having an effect on my diet. I ate healthy but satisfying meals all week. And I even "treated" myself to a dinner out with coworkers last night. And, because of my health conciousness, I chose well and ate proper portions: One portion of a spinach and cheese appetizer, two slices bread, half a bown of soup, half a regular-size salad and half a smaller, amazingly wonderful chocolate desert.

I walked away feeling satisfied. Not too full and not wishing I had had more desert. Splitting it was the perfect amount!

It makes me feel like this is a lifestyle I can maintain. Moderate exercise that's working toward a personal goal (a half marathon!), yummy and healthy meals, and room for the occasional desert and dinner out! :-)

good job!

I felt good today.

I lost a pound (hopefully it stays off!) and my pants felt, well, normal again. I know that keeping my pants -- well, really my tummy -- that way has a lot more to do with my actions than with crossing my fingers.

But I can still cross my fingers, right?

It's been about two weeks since I've been eating well and exercising. And besides being down three, almost four, pounds, I've definately noticed some positive results:

EATING WELL:
+ I've been craving healthy food again: tofu smoothy, black beans, broccoli. Yes, broccoli!
+ I pretty much bypass the office stash of goodies.
+ I cooked and purchased healthy meals I can heat up in a flash, so I don't munch before dinner.
+ I've been aiming, and pretty well succeeding, at only eating during meals.
+ I've been writing what I eat down, looking (and sometimes measuring) portions and trying to count calories. I've been gaining a lot of insight about what I eat!

EXERCISING:
+ I have more energy at night! I don't come home and crash anymore.
+ I have exercised five times each week for the last two weeks, even if I didn't feel like it.
+ I ran four miles on Sunday! Woohoo!
+ My legs look leaner, as do my arms and tummy.
+ I've been sleeping better.

I've had a few short comings, but hell, we all do. Here are some of my goals:

EATING:
+ Plan ahead! Make healthy meals and plan before heading to restaurants.
+ Limit snacking.
+ Continue to watch portion control and calories.

EXERCISING:
+ Keep the momentum going!
+ Run five miles this weekend!

portions, calories

The more I write down what I eat -- and take the steps to find out what a portion is, and how much calories are in that portion -- do I realize my "standard" portions pack a lot more calories in than I thought! And even if it's healthy food, those add up.

For example, I made a rice tofu dish tonight. I take a extra-firm pack of tofu and stir-fried it. Normally I eat about half the tofu pack. I mean, hell, it's tofu, right? I've never actually looked at the label.

Well it turns out that there are FIVE portions in that pack -- not two! Which means I've been eating almost 300 calories when I eat half, not the 150 calories I thought I was. I don't even know where that 150 number came from. Honestly, I think I just made it up one day, thinking, how many calories can be in tofu anyway?

Now, I probably won't stop eating tons of tofu. I mean, talk about a healthy food packed with nutrients and protein, with little fat. But realizing how many calories was in it really opened my eyes.

And I looked at the black bean can label. Turns out a half-cup is about 100 calories. Not bad, but I think I've counted it as 50 calories before. And the whole-grain rice? A half-cup is almost 200 calories, not 100 like I've been writing down.

So add that up -- that's almost 400 calories that I have not factored into my diet. All healthy foods, all normal serving sizes -- but wow. That sure added up fast!

cheese, cheese

I'm just completing a full week -- which is really a week stretched through the middle of two weeks -- of healthy eating and exercising.

Thinking back, I feel good about what I've accomplished.

I've kept up my cardio schedule, even when I was sore or didn't think I could do it. I made adjustments, of course. But I did it.

I also have kept an accurate food log, with estimated calories. And I feel like I've cut back on a lot of the "extras" -- the cookies, the deserts, the unneeded snacks. And I'm gaining a lot of information about what I need to stay fueled.

But more importantly, what I don't need.

In looking over my calorie culprit, I was found the main thing that is boosting my calorie intake is cheese. Granted, it's part-skim mozzerela, which is probably one of the healthiest cheeses you can buy.

But the thing is, I can't just have an ounce. I eat a slice or two or three before the meal, and shred more to melt on the meal. I've known that cheese is something I tend to over indulge -- I can't even resist this "healthier" version. Some days I probably added 300 to 700 unneeded calories just from cheese!

Now, I did loose two pounds, from my highest weight I've been for almost a year: 132 lbs. Now I'm stradling somewhere between 129-130 lbs. My goal is to loose one to two pounds a week, so I hit my before-vacation weight of 125 lbs.

They key, I think, will be to keep up with the exercise. But also, just as important, to cut out or cut way back on cheese!

i did it

Yesterday I could barely do 20 minutes of cross training. My feet hurt on the eliptical (why is that?) and after 10 minutes, I switched to the bike. I pedalled, so amazingly slowly.

But the important part is I went. I did it. At least 20 minutes of it.

Today I ran 2 miles. I was strong, I even did a 10-minute mile pace for a while.

There will be up days and down days on this journey of health and exercise. That's all I need to remember.

intervals

Oh, the frustrations on New Years resolutions!

The gym was PACKED today. So packed that my regular spinning class was full when I arrived, and all the "good" treadmills (i.e. the fancy new ones) and all the eliptical machines were taken. Two years ago I would have let go of the idea of a hard workout and instead done an easy stationary bike one, maybe while reading a magazine.

But this is the new training-for-a-half-marathon me, so I was determined. Determined to work up a sweat and do some kind of intervals, which spinning usually covers.

So I hopped on an "old" treadmill (circa 1990, I swear) and began my routine. Five minutes of walking to warm up, 5 minutes of stretching on the mat, and then running.

Well, my determination paid off. Not only did a "good" treadmill open up almost immediatly, but running intervals was just as hard as spinning!

Sometimes life -- and exercise -- takes flexibility. :-)

still full from lunch

It amazed me, at about 11:30 a.m., that I was still quiet full from breakfast. And at 3 p.m. that I was still full from lunch.

Three weeks ago I would have been looking at the clock, waiting for the minutes until I could have lunch or a snack.

But not today, although I ate less than I would have three weeks ago. I had a sensibly sized breakfast of oatmeal and a banana, and a larger lunch (subway, chips, plus a homemade broccoli salad). Okay, not that large. But large enough to not have a snack today!

As the week progresses, I think I'm slowly "resetting" my stomach. Sure, there are moments where I'm famished, but they occur less and less. I'm also choosing healthier fare. Oatmeal instead of a bagel, a 300-calorie subway sandwich instead of a 600-calorie wrap from the local place.

In fact, I've realized I need about 1,100-1,200 calories to feel full until dinner time. Which is perfect, because then I can have a moderate sized meal. Like today, I had a chic-pea pattie wrap, grapes and a small sweet potato. All said it probably totals 800 calories -- bringing me, today, to a 1,800 calorie total. With plenty of room to have a 100-calorie desert bar yet tonight!

Now some diets in leading health magazines are focusing on a 1,500 calorie diet. Which, to any woman who does even a small amount of exercise, is unrealistic. You might be able to stay on it for a week or two, but then you'll fall off the wagon. Why? Because there's no wiggle room. No room for peanut butter or cheese or chocolate.

With my 1,800 calorie goal (2,000 on days I exercise at least 30 minutes), you can have those comfort foods -- in moderation. As long as portions are small, you eat mostly healthy fare and you exercise consistently, why deprive yourself?

You may think I'm on a diet, with all the calorie totals listed above, but I'm not. A diet is one that leaves you hungry. And on a diet, it's really only a matter of time before you fall off the wagon and gain more weight.

I'm just watching (and writing down) what I eat so I can reset my stomach -- I want to feel full after I ate a well-portioned meal, not a super-sized one. On my healthy eating and exercising plan, I can each chocolate without falling off the wagon.

And that's a plan I can live with.

my lunch tote

I feel pretty good about myself today.

My tummy is still bloated (and my pants are still tight), and my fingers are still a little swollen from last night. But I think they're going down.

Besides those lingering signs of indulgence, I did a lot of things to be proud of today. I bought new running shoes, shorts and socks. I bought healthy food at the grocery store. I ran 3 miles -- without stopping -- at the gym. Slower then I would like, but I can work on that. And I ate relatively healthy, and within my calorie limit, while still "splurging" on a personal-sized homemade pizza. And I prepped some healthy meals for the week, including a cold broccoli salad that looks awesome. And I ordered a "lunch tote" online.

A lunch tote? I guess that's the fancy term high-end stores use now for pack-your-own lunch bags. This one's a cute blue color from the container store. It should be big enough to fit a diet coke and various dishes for lunch, and stylish enough to remember to bring home to use for the next day!

I've had my eye on it for a while, and I finally -- after three months -- decided to buy it. Why? Because packing your lunch and snack is one of the easiest ways to eat healthy and within your calorie limit.

There's really no guessing if you pack your own lunch. No mysterious sauce, no surprise attacks of salt, no globs of cheese, no coating of oil. Just left overs of whatever you made last night.

Better for you. And I think it tastes better too!

salt

I was tired and hungry last night, and stopped at the grocery store around 7:30 p.m. to pick up dinner. Now usually I eat by 7 p.m., mostly because sticking to an eating schedule helps fend off getting too hungry and eating too much.

But last night I knew I wouldn't eat until 8 or 8:30 p.m., which made me very aware of the portion of my dinner. Could I handle making pasta and keeping left overs? Probably not. So I turned to something I normally don't eat -- frozen meals.

I was pleasantly surprised by Amy's frozen cheese enchiladas. I was craving melted cheese -- and it was so yummy! But at 350 calories, It didn't really fill me up. Even with salad and fruit. So I also ate a frozen corn dot (150 calories) and topped it off with two frozen fudge bars (100 calories). Overall, my daily intake was between 1,800-1,900. Not bad for having run two miles earlier that day.

I felt good about my "healthy" choice. I ate my calorie goal for the day while satisfying my cravings. But then, this morning, my fingers were swollen -- and I realized I ate more than 1,000 mg of sodium for dinner.

Now that's probably typical for most adults in America. But I eat mostly fresh and homemade food, I never add salt to a dish, and I actually steer clear of high-salt food. Domino's pizza? No thanks, I'll make my own. French fries? Maybe a few off a friend's plate, but I'll order fruit. Canned soup? Always low-sodium, but I prefer homemade.

Low salt intake has served me well. I passed my last blood pressure measurement with glowing colors: 100/60. And my distaste for salt has helped me steer clear of unhealthy fast-food, like delivery pizza and fries.

Which leads me to wonder, can I eat frozen foods without abandoning the benefits of my low-salt diet? With my hectic schedule, it was so nice popping the meal into the microwave and eating it 5 minutes later. But at what cost?

I think I'll keep some frozen meals in my fridge as healthy back-ups -- but I'll try not to eat them, like I did last night, with other high-sodium food.

eating + drinking

Well, I lost a pound this morning. Meaning I'm down two pounds since the beginning of January -- mostly water weight, but I feel good about it.

I've been eating healthy for the last few days, and I want to continue. And I've started exercising again. With D home for leave -- and between all the commitments we made to see family and friends -- there was simply little time to exercise (although I am proud that I got two workouts in the last week.)

And the food over the holidays? I really only endulged on the actual holidays, which I felt good about. And I quickly gave away all the tempting "gifts" people gave me this year. Bags of fudge, chex mix, cookies, sweet bread and chocolate all made its way to my office's conference room. Where it quickly (and thankfully) disappeared.

No, the five pound increase (now a three pound increase) was, I believe, due to the nights of drinking. I don't normally indulge, and if I do it's a glass or two every few months. But with D home, we went out almost every weekend night. And we drank on the holidays too.

So three to five drink a day/night, times two long weekends of drinking ... that's a lot of calories. Especially those sweet martini's I had last weekend. And the thing is, when you drink you eat. Chips, peanuts, pizza -- who cares when you're drunk?

Thinking back over this holiday, it was a good time. D was home (yay!), and we saw family and reconnected with long-lost friends. We laughed, stayed up late, drank and were happy. Until the next morning, when I had a headache and my pants were tight.

I probably wouldn't change the memories. But I would change how much I drank, although in all reality it wasn't that much compared to D or his brother. With only drinking occassionally, I'm still very much a lightweight.

But these past two weeks have been a reminder of why I actually enjoy not drinking. Sure, there's some social stigma to not having a glass -- or five -- when you're out with friends. But the thing is, I much more enjoy waking up refreshed in the morning.

And feeling thin and healthy each morning? Priceless.

healthy-er

It's my second day eating healthier, and yet today I feel surprisingly full.

Yesterday I logged about 2,100 calories. I also ran two miles, which puts me at about 1,900 calories. But I was hungry all day.

Which is a weird comparison to today. I logged about 1,700 calories, no exercise, but I feel so full! Oatmeal for breakfast, sushi for lunch, an apple and popcorn for snack, and a portion-controlled pasta dish (even with cheese!) for dinner. Oh, and did I mention chocolate?

But man, did I feel bloated all day! My tummy hurt, my pants were tight.

It's weird how I eat less but my stomach seems to grow. Yet I supposively lost a pound between the other day and today.

Weird.